Where the mind wanders

600 count sheets

2011-10-14T12:51:00.000-07:00

Today I changed my sheets on my bed. This doesn’t seem like a big deal, but a few months ago I spent my discretionary money for new sheets. The 600 count ones that feel like silk. I sink into them like melted butter and fall fast asleep.

This would not be such a big deal if I expected to have such comfort. But since I have had my share of 200 count sheets, scratchy wool blankets or no mattress at all it is a real treat.

All my life I have been between poverty and the expectation of abundance. At times I have been so out of resources as to be sleeping in a tent on the side of the freeway. But, with always a since that there was something better I should have had.

I look back on the thunderstorm that drenched the tent forcing us out into the rain and the days wondering where I would be the next minute as a learning experience. Which, of course, it was, but did I need to learn to enjoy 600 count sheets by not having them? Maybe, I don’t know. But very often the lack didn’t let me enjoy the things I have at the time.

The since of expectation of abundance also made me envious of others that had more and ashamed of what I did have. This is a terrible predicament--half way in between and not happy with either.

But today I love my 600 count sheets, my garden that is makeshift chicken house of old fencing and used 2X4’s, and old wooden ladders painted bright orange, blue and purple and my house with the leaky roof, my dog that got fleas, my chickens that are not laying and that are sneezing, my trees that are dropping leaves all over the place and the beautiful pink fall flowers that are blooming in my bedroom doorway!

I barely can pay the price for this home, but while I have it I will enjoy the smell of the night blooming Jasmine, the sweet fragrance of the orange blossoms and the colors of the 40 roses that are scattered around my garden, the feel of the grass, and the smell of the rain. For today I will slip into my 600 count sheets and melt away to rest and dream of all the sweetness in my life right now, and let all the envy and contempt for not having, not doing, not living another life leave my soul.

I should have done this all along.

Berry Good Experience

2011-06-05T08:06:00.000-07:00

Today I picked my first bowl of Marian Berries. I had been waiting for the day when the tiny green, then bigger pink, and then even bigger red berries would be a luscious black and today was the day.

I had been digging the trenches for another part of my watering system when I glanced up and saw the shiny bumps of the black berries sparkling in the morning sunlight. I went into the enclosure and picked one soft but firm fruit off the vine. And slowly put it onto my tongue. The berry was firm, smooth coldness in my mouth. The little balls of juice popped as I squished it with my tongue. The juice was first sour, then sweet, and then came the fragrance and flavor of flowers! What a treat!

I held out one hand and piled as many berries as I could hold, stopping to pick a few raspberries along the way. When I could not hold any more I carefully walked into the house, rinsed them off and put them in this bowl. I just happened to have some whipped cream I had bought in anticipation of the fruit harvest.

I love my garden!

Why I still watch Star Trek

2010-07-15T21:00:00.000-07:00

Tear jerkers, cause proponents, emotional point makers, interferance with relationships, violent disrespectful relationships, violence, seduction, greed, avarice, covetousness, exploitation, murder, rape, fear mongering, you name it are all on TV 24/7.

It seems like no one has a good simple life with honorable friends and a good feeling about their life's work.

I don't like to be tearful for someone else's problems or joys. I have enough of both in my life. I don't like to be afraid, duped into thinking that my life is not good enough, or be exposed to murder, violence, sexual explicitness, etc...

Star Trek doesn't have these emotional effects on me. All the series were contemplative, realistic, and applicable to real life situations with the added effect of detachment. I don't mean that I live in space or want to. I would just like to think that there is a place for kindness, respect, honor and a since of duty to those around you. Is there?

I still watch Star Trek regularly and the movies too. Why? Because all the "Treks" have content I want to put in my mind and nothing much else does.

Today a 80 year old singer of old Celtic legends, Sean O'Duininn said:

"The only thing we have in this world is our way of thinking.

There is nothing stronger than our way of thinking."

What are "They" wanting you to be thinking by putting all that on TV?

Now, What do you have?

I have the Star Trek way of thinking. Thanks Roddenberry!

Behavioral Secrets

2010-07-11T10:12:00.000-07:00

Definition: Confession is the telling of a secret behavior to another with the intention of wanting to change it.

Behavioral secrets stay with us

They run our lives

But confessed to another

Can be examined

And sometimes

Disappear in the light of the telling

"Confession is good for the Soul"

A few days ago I told a friend that I was having trouble keeping up with the dishes. I don't have a dishwasher and sometimes I just don't want to do them. It bothered me for months! Piling up until I just could not stand it. But since I told her I was having a problem with it, I have rinsed out the dishes and washed them as I use them.

Sometimes behavioral secrets disappear in the light of telling!

What Will You Do If you Don't?

2010-06-30T11:09:00.000-07:00

Today is the precursor to tomorrow.

What if this Walnut tree did not bloom in the dead of winter? What if it said "I am too little; the best I can do is a few walnuts anyway. Why bother?!

Would I have these lovely little walnuts growing on it in June? Does it care if I may eat them or not? No, but the squirrels will, I am sure. The nut may even be planted by one industrious little squirrel thinking it will be a nice snack only to find later a small walnut tree instead of a good meal.
What if I did not plant a one foot thin little hedge in the front of my garden bed in 2005 with the sun beating down and the wind blowing and drying out this little parcel of my yard? I did not know if I would be here to see it, but what if I didn't plant it? What would I have now?

Would I have this lovely 5 foot hedge in 2010 protecting my vegies from the late afternoon wind and the beating summer sun? In 2005 I really did not know if I would be here in 2010 but I am AND SO IS MY HEDGE.

If I had just said "It's too hard. It's too much work. I don't like dirt anyway. I won't be here anyway." Or my little walnut had said "It's too cold! I don't have what I think I need to make fruit. Who cares if I make walnuts anyway?" Would I have a hedge or would my little walnut tree have great big walnuts on it?

If you don't do what is in front of you--school, home chores, learning how to take care of you body, or practicing things that are hard, scary, or one of the small steps toward a goal--you will not have the fruit tomorrow will you.

Will you?
Then what will you do? What will you have? Where will you go?

TODAY IS THE PRECURSOR TO TOMORROW!

USE TODAY WISELY

OR LOOSE THE BENEFIT TOMORROW!

How to never need to clean up your room.

2010-01-05T08:51:00.000-08:00

First of all

DO THINGS RIGHT AWAY

It usually only takes a minute or two so... Don't put it off. If you do whatever it is just when it happens you will never need to go back and do it when you are busy doing something else.

These 2 rules pretty much sum it up:

1. Don't put it down, Put it away.

2. If it drops, Pick it up.

Rule # 1 Don't put it down, Put it away.

Cloths

As the dryer finishes fold the laundry

It will only take a few minutes each time the dryer stops and the cloths will not get wrinkled and pile up in a dozen baskets to be folded as you watch the 2 hour movie it takes to get it all folded. Taking that few minutes to put them away keeps it from being the daunting task at the end of an endless laundry cycle.

You will always have laundry, always! So, make it easy on yourself and do it a little at a time.

Take it off and...

put it in the laundry

this keeps the floor uncluttered and your room smelling good. The laundry room, well, that is another story.

put it folded in a drawer or on a shelf

Clean folded laundry will look nice when you come to ware it instead of all wrinkled up and messy. Don't put dirty cloths in there!

put it on a hanger or hook

Larger items like coats and jackets can pile up really fast because they are big, but if you hang them up they seem to disappear as well as dry if it has been raining. You will also know where they are--a bonus.

You will never hear "Go in there and clean up that mess!" because there never will be one!

Oh! Change your bed once a week. Put your sheets in the laundry. You sweat during the day and if you go more than a week without changing your bed your room smells like sweat and dirty socks. Yuck!

Dishes

Wash them as you finish using them. You would be surprised what a little water and a soapy sponge can do for your kitchen. If you don't put things in the sink, rinse them out then put them in the dishwasher it is so easy once a day to start it up and all you need to do is put them away. How simple is that!

Every day big meals will be cooked or a project will be made which sometimes means bigger a clean up job. But, if you rinse out things as you finish using them and put them in the dishwasher the cleanup will be almost done. Plus you will not have cross-contamination, germs, bacteria and other yucky stuff all over the nice food you just cooked. This will keep colds and flu from going from one person to the next too! How cool is that.

Rule #2 If it drops...

Pick it up

So many times we miss the trash, let a paper, a toy or just something dirty drop then just ignore it. Just pick it up and put it where it goes. You will never need to touch it again. (this is particularly nice when it is something really yucky.) No worries, guilt or someone yelling at you because you dropped your bike in back of the car and it is now SMASHED!

Wipe it up!

Spills are particularly dangerous. Wet stuff can cause slips and falls not to mention damage of the surface it falls on. Stains and mildew look and smell really bad. No one needs their house to look and smell like that!

Vacuum it up!

Sugar, flour, and other dry stuff can be slippery too. So just get out a broom, vacuum cleaner or mop and clear it up. It only takes a few minutes when it is all in one place, but wait an hour or two and the flour is all over the place and the whole house needs to be vacuumed!

If you learn these few rules you will only need to vacuum and dust once in a while because no matter how close you follow them dirt will come and it will need to be cleaned. But, you will never need to spend the whole day cleaning again!

Yesterday I found out why I do what I do

2009-12-21T08:05:00.000-08:00

I have a friend who has taken years to get close to. She has been alone for years and finally had made a cognitive leap into her imagination to create a reality that is really different from any of the rest of us. She was unable to be touched. She took offence at the smallest things. She was combative. She was plain rude at times totally rejecting any sign that she was cared about. As I endured she began to soften.

It has taken years for her to expose her reality to me. As I validated her perspective, yet stayed separate from this construction, she became more and more friendly first finding ways to "take care of me" then just plain affectionate responses still not wanting to be touched however. One day a while ago she spontaneously hugged me. A surprise for sure, but a welcomed change in her.

Yesterday I saw her opening her perspective to a gift I made her. The look on her face of gratitude and genuine love was delightful and the best Christmas gift I could have gotten. Bless her heart--some hope has entered her world.

I have no intention of intruding on her, but because I endured her negative behavior, took her prospective seriously, accepted her ideas, trying to understand where she had developed the construct of her life and genuinely wanted to care about her anyway, She opened her heart to being loved. I am grateful that I did not give up.

It may seem at times, even to me, that who I am is a mistake, that what I think is so far out of step with what the world is doing now that I must be wrong, but yesterday I found out why I do what I do just by the look on her face.

Wow! Merry Christmas

Where are we going?

2009-12-07T09:24:00.000-08:00

I am having trouble with Science. Our world is a finite resource. Everything on the planet is in a defined amount. Each one limited by what is here now. Science is exploring how to use every molecule of it, or should I say use up every molecule.

Science has found ways to separate, concentrate, combine, and even change the molecular structure of just about anything they want. Now they are creating a laser that can blow up a planet!--not only using up what we have here, but dispersing what is not even within our reach.

Who do we think we are? What gives humanity(rather a few humans) the right to change things to suit their curiosity, no matter what the consequences to others (animals, plants, elements, even other planets)?

The sad part is that most of us can not grow our own food, cook our own meals, fix our cars, put up our own fences, mow our own lawns, and we do not even make our beds or wash our own dishes. We let our resources mold, rust and melt into the land fill. Science still can not get rid of nuclear waste, scrub the emissions of a coal fueled electrical plant or find a way to recycle about 1/2 of our garbage, but they can blow up a planet!

Wow! Where are our priorities?

Oh, by the way the complaints about your use of electricity? The Hedron Collider in Europe uses electricity at the same rate as a city of 300,000 people. For what? To find out what happened in the big bang at the beginning of the universe. Wow! again. I think my Christmas lights are really no problem!

Projects this last few weeks

2009-11-23T13:44:00.000-08:00

Blanket, BB, pillow and booties for Lesa's coming baby. Booties.

Placemats for a house warming, include hot pads for the table. Came out cute.

My little neighbor, 6 year old Leslie's birthday pillow.

Chickens, Chickens and more chickens.

These are placemats for my neighbor's birthday gift. She really likes chickens and has them all over her kitchen so I thought she might like these. Found the panel in my quilt shop and some corn printed fabric for the back. Got to use up some of the hundreds of fat quarters too! yah!

Another thing on the panel was this banner and I put it on my chicken house to let my girls know they are the best.

It is winter so I have covered the windows to keep the wind out. They seem to be very contented even though the light comes on at 5 am. It does keep them warm too so they don't mind. Still have one egg each from the little ladies.

Well, better get on to the next one.

Global warming? or nuclear consequences?

2009-10-23T10:23:00.000-07:00

I have become aware of the extent of the nuclear testing in the Pacific. 1.7 Hiroshima bombs a day for 12 years! Do we really think that had no effect on the life in the oceans of the world? In unleashing such a catastrophic amount of radiation, heat, and light into the waters do we really think it had no long term impact?

We are experiencing changes in climate here on the west coast called El Nino, or La Nina which is the shifts in the warm water currents in the Pacific Ocean. How much did that testing affect this seasonal flow of the waters? How many animals are no longer in this ocean because of the radiation?

I am awestruck that we are so stupid.

Why Societies Have Religious Components

2009-10-18T09:33:00.000-07:00

Here I acknowledge the abuses of the leadership that exist in this genre, but the point here is to look at the components themselves.

1. Religious components explain the unexplainable so one can let the concern over it go.
2. Religious components give guidelines to the new generation in an otherwise chaotic existence.
3. Religious components limit the abuses that willful hearts can do to the innocent or weaker.

The larger unanswerable topics like" Why do I exist? What happens when I die? Is there meaning to anything? etc... are usually part of religious concepts. These questions come up in every one's life and are unanswerable as far as we know , but religion has given us a way out of worrying about it. Mysteries like these are questions that we will not be able to let go but for the permission the answers given in religious contexts give.

In covering the other topics the religious components gives rest to the innocent and weak, courage to the faint of heart, and limitations to the strong. A government may be able to make laws that do these things but it takes religious components to self discipline ones self to obey these laws. There is no law enforcement that can stop a willful heart only that heart can stop itself.

Without these components of religious belief the young are left with their imagination to guide them. At this time when it is possible in our society to do anything it is important to set some of these limits in the young. Not as controls, but as guidelines for behavior in an ever increasing population to stop us from destroying our planet and to protect us from each other.

It is one thing to talk about freedom of speech and quite another thing to allow slander, lies, distortions and misleading. It is one thing to talk about imagination and quite another thing to abandon reality all together and live in that fantasy.

The things the ancients struggled with are the same as the things we face today. They, over time, constructed ways of limiting (self-controlling) themselves, facing the unexplainable and keeping violence from destroying them. Humanity itself has not changed. We need to look very hard at the rejection of religious components in the context of a whole life lived with the unbelievable limitless possibilities and potential destructiveness we see today.

I hope we will look hard at this gift of religious components that have for generations allowed us to evaluate the value of our self-interested desires, to limit our greed, to control our aggressions, and to limit imagination to the things that make life better for all.

Harvest Moon

2009-10-04T06:49:00.000-07:00

Today I experienced the Harvest Moon. In times past I had experienced the rising of this moon as the largest in the year. It peeks over the horizon and then fills the sky. It glows gold in the twilight of the day. It rises up to fill the night air with a pure white light. I did not pay much attention to how long it stayed in the sky. I did not realized it would still be filling the landscape with a bright glow at 6 am making it possible to see everything around as clearly as a street light fills the air with light.

With our modern streetlights we create a hazy gold glow every night of the year but before electricity for millions of years this night light in the sky only happened all night in the fall after the equinox, the first full moon after the equal day and night in the fall.

We are so used to having light at night that we don't even notice it, but once a year our ancestors all over the world could stay up all night with the moon lighting their world for three days! It is no wonder that they had a special celebration of this majestic moon. What a treat.

Aligning one's self

2009-09-29T10:04:00.000-07:00

"Aligning yourself with positive people"...that I may be encouraged together with you by the mutual faith." Romans 1:12

Today I saw Ken Burns "National Parks, our best idea". Having been raised in California I knew about Yosemite being the first wilderness aria being set aside as a public park. I knew of the role of John Meir in trying to preserve it for us 100 years before my grandchildren would be able to see this wonder. The fact that it is still here for us to visit is amazing in itself because, as Chani has said the world's people are self-interested and are not altruistic, but Yosemite, Yellowstone, Mount Rainer, the Grand Canyon and other places like these prove that there are some who see into the future and are not just here for themselves.

I choose to be aligned with them-- the John Meurs of the world-- those who see the common good and work to preserve it for the future as well as using it for the present. There are not too many for sure but I choose to be with them.

Altruism is a choice. Giving up what would be good for you in the short term for the future of your family, your town, your country, your state, your nation and the world's future--what more could we do for ourselves than to say we have preserved something, taken care of something, saved something, not wasted something and turned it over to future generations for the good of us all?

In my own way I am doing that. Generations of my family have worked to preserve a heritage for our family, some better than others, it has now come to me. I choose to have it to pass on. I hope that the next generation will do the same.

If this is also self-interest so be it. I want to be that kind of self-interested.

Google each National Park, State Park, and County Park and see what others have left for you! And view the memory book I gave each of you and see what these folks have left for our family.

The Locked Doors

2009-09-13T10:37:00.000-07:00

Do you know who you really are?

How did you get put in the box you are in?

Is there someone else inside you that needs to be expressed?

Self examination, life's precious gift to know one's self.

Today I saw Six Degrees of Separation. In this movie a young man pretended/imagined his way into the lives of several prominent families only to be part of a world he was not born into. His fate was, for many of us, familiar.

This monologue was the most significant:

"The imagination has been moved out of the realm of being our link, our most personal link with our inner lives and the world outside that world and the world we share.

What is schizophrenia but a horrifying state where what's in here(head) doesn't match with what's out there.

Why has imagination become a synonym for style... I believe that imagination is the passport we create to take us into the real world. I believe that the Imagination is just another word for what is most uniquely us.

Jung said"The greatest sin is to be unconscious." Holden says "What scares me most is the other guy's face. It wouldn't be so bad if you could both be blindfolded" Most of the time the face that we face is not the other guy's, but our own face.

And it is the worst kind of yellowness to be so scared of yourself that you put blindfolds on rather than deal with yourself.

To face ourselves---that's the hard thing. The imagination--that's God's gift to make the act of self examination bearable."

In me there is a teacher, a lover of knowledge, proficient in many genera, experienced in many fields, but the door was closed because I am dyslexic. I can't spell. Teachers need to spell correctly; this was the first door that slammed in my face.

The door is closed to me who loves the "art" of teaching and the inspiration of knowing that you can share this love, but for those who can follow a line it is open. Many times they shoot down people like me by telling us we ask too many questions. The threat is that we want to know more than they themselves know.

I am not saying that all doors should be opened, for there are many who do not know and need to be instructed. But, so many of us who genuinely love learning, God, creativity, spontaneity, and life are stifled by those who have not the capacity to enjoy the reality of these themselves. They are in control in order to keep "knowing" under their rigid level of understanding. They should rather be guiding us to go beyond the rote to the abstract that created the rote, thus opening the door to go further rather than only knowing what others have said.

However, these same "limiters" venerate those lovers of life...artists, writers, poets etc... while at the same time try to kill their joy by analyzing their lives and quantifying their work and then closing doors to their participation by finding fault.

Thank God I do not accept their limits, but, boy is it hard to feel OK in a world with these circumstances.

Aloneness

2009-09-03T09:25:00.000-07:00

I saw a picture of my grandson that reminded me of the way he likes to be alone. I used to be that way too. I remember sitting out on the rocks in front of Cannery Row finding peace in the sound of the ocean crashing on the big rocks splashing up into the sky and falling back into the foam.

I was the oldest in a chaotic family of 4 siblings. My parents were not happy and there was never a quiet moment. Sitting by the ocean with its rhythmic roar was very different from hearing my parents argue or my siblings constant babble. With a dog, 14 cats, 3 siblings and fighting parents there was never a moment of quiet and then came the television, radio , and phonographs. But by the ocean it was all drowned out, not only from the air but from my mind.

There was always the reentry into the chaos but for a moment I was at peace and one with something bigger than myself, bigger than the goings on around me, just the "isness" of being.

This separateness gave me some comfort, but I really wanted to be part of something. I searched all through my life for the one place I fit in, but at every turn there was someone that wanted my place. Someone who was jelous of what I could do or wanted so badly to do it themselves that they needed to discredit me so they could take over. As I backed down to their greater desire I lost my place over and over until now there is nothing that I want to be a part of.

It took me a long time to give up wanting to be part of something. I wonder if he has given up already.

Reflections on Second Weddings

2009-08-30T07:11:00.000-07:00

I have thought about my ex-husband's weddings. The vows that were taken at our wedding were that we would "love" each other but have no commitment. These new vows are that even though we may hurt each other we don't mean to. Interesting.

The assumption that one is loved no matter what the other does and the assumption that no matter how hurtful you are to the other they should always know you don't mean it? Interesting. I wonder how many hurts it takes to have this mean absolutely nothing.

This life path is the same as his father's-- spend the first part of your life working out your own frailties, trying to control your spouse, and (intentionally or unintentionally) demoralize the mother of your children until she gives up and then choose someone else to live out the rest of your life with when you have learned what hurts a companion and don't want to do that anymore. Interesting.

How long until women recognize this pattern and stop participating?

That's all I have to say about that.

I saw John Lennon today

2009-08-20T09:10:00.000-07:00

I saw John Lennon today, long gone, but still in the ghosts of the video tape. His "bed in" caused quite a stir. The message was "give peace a chance". I have listened to the churches preach "love one another" and the golden rule "do unto others as you would have them do to you" and many more like statements.

I find myself in a quandary. The only way these things work is if everyone does it. Just one person not thinking of others needs, just one person finding that hitting or yelling gets their way no matter if it is good or not, just one person taking advantage of others and the whole "Peace" thing goes up in smoke unless. . .there is something in place that holds them accountable.

Tolerance is fine until someone takes advantage of the tolerance of others. Patience is fine unless someone keeps blocking progress on purpose. Forgiveness is fine until someone repeats the offence until there is no more room for forgiveness. Loving(emotionally) is not enough, but caring what happens to them and being willing to do something about the difficulties they face is another. Words are not enough.

Love, Peace, Tolerance, Forgiveness, Patience, Acceptance, Openness-- All really good words, but there are actions, parameters, and accountability in these words. If not, then there is abuse. Where there is abuse there is disillusion. Where there is disillusion there is disappointment. Where there is disappointment there is discouragement. Where there is discouragement there is depression and at the end there is resentment that causes unloving, un-peaceful, unforgiving, intolerant acts. Then all is in smoke.

We can not afford health care for all but we can spend billions in Afghanistan to stabilize their country. We can send a probe to Pluto, but not give all our citizens secure banking. We can spend millions on entertaining movies, but not for keeping our public parks in order and the list goes on and on and on. . . . . . . . . .

What is wrong with this picture? Peace will only come when we want to take care of each other and stop getting what we think we need despite what it does to others and our planet. Who does this start with? Well, you decide. John said we could do it if we try. I have become a bit cynical. Who wants to try anymore?

Note from beyond from Ruthie

2009-08-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

My mother passed away almost 7 years ago. Today I was cleaning out the garage and found yet another note from my mom.

Who's Name? Mine?
By Ruthie written February 2, 1995

Until I was 65 years old I thought I was named after my God Father's wife, Ruth Morris, my mother's matron of honor and wife of my Dad's friend and best man, Governor Morris, the writer. She was an actress of some repute. My mother told me she was very beautiful. I didn't know my mother's younger sister had claimed the name Ruth for her middle name. For years I basked in the lime light of the talented actress, now I had to adjust to "You were named after me!" from my abstinent Aunt Aldine "Ruth" Henriques Young. I am glad I didn't know this until this stage of my life.

My birth certificate reads: Ruth Underwood Brown-- the Underwood after my Grandmother Brown's family and my father's middle name. Mother used to tell me my Grandmother Brown wanted me to be named after Great Aunt Matilda, but they didn't think "Tilly" was a suitable name for their daughter, but Ruthie stuck. Those who knew me well called me Ruthie--my Aunt Aurora called me Ruthie until the day she died at 91 years young.

I was Ruth Underwood Brown until I was a little past 2 when in the baptismal font in St Patrick's Church in San Jose I became Ruth Marie Brown. I remember the glow of the stained glass window and my Aunt Aurora holding me.

Somewhere in recent years I became just Ruth. Where Ruthie was a term of endearment, Ruth gives deference to my years and status of Great Grandmother.

I have always liked my name. It is easy to spell, easy to pronounce, holds some dignity, and rhymes with Truth.

So, Ruth Underwood Brown changed to Ruth Marie Brown in 1927. My named changed again in 1944 at the Navy Chapel in Corpus Christi, Texas to Ruth Marie Brown Byles. Then Ruth Marie Brown Byles Becker has been on my driver's license since 1980.

I read a tribute my God Father wrote for his Ruth when she died and felt proud to have been named for such a person. My Aunt Aldine lived to 91 years old with Ruth as her middle name. She was determined, stubborn and fought for her way throughout her life. According to the New Dictionary of the English Language (1925) the name Ruth, of biblical derivation means Beauty. The two people who held my name were examples of strength and beauty. My wish is somehow the legacy of "this" Ruth will have been to show the beauty around us in trivial and everyday things and people.

And she did!

Oservation

2009-08-14T11:20:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, Aug 12, makes 7 years of this different life. I know that our bodies change all the cells in it on a 7 year cycle, so I am a completely different person than I was when I got here. Except the ends of my hair which I decided not to cut because there must be a little left of the past.

It has changed my perspective to realize this. I am not sure why but it has and I feel different.

We will see what the next 7 years brings.

a voice in the wind

2009-08-11T14:48:00.000-07:00

I have been talking to 4 teachers, an art teacher in private school, a Spanish teacher and a third grade teacher in public school and a home school teacher. These four people are working very hard to educate our children, but have major problems with the way things are going right now.

I wonder if they have thought of this?

Did you ever think that the state of public education was deliberate?

In the 1950's there was a push for better education. Children were taught to think for themselves and learn what they could with enthusiasm, self discipline and order. But in the 60's after the Viet Nam War protests and the civil rights demonstrations things changed. Those who were in power saw that an educated public, especially young people, would march in the streets for what they perceived is right.

This is how they choose to combat this civil unrest:

1. Slowly dumb down the books that are required for the young to learn from, removing as much of the meanings as possible and have children learn meaningless facts.

2 Listen to the uneducated and allow them to dilute the professions by giving them special dispensation because they did not know what was required (no matter what the reason).

3. Require that the higher forms of English not be used In fact don't require English at all.

4. Require educated folks to step down the language they use to the level of the majority rather than keeping up a higher standard of communication.

5. Require that all written forms be in short sentences limited to less than 10 words, use common words not more accurate words, no use of colons, semi-colons, dashes, even descriptive commas, like this, should be discouraged. This will keep the young from understanding even the basics of our nation's written documents because they will not be able to read the Bill of Rights or the Constitution.

6. Stop teaching civics, parliamentary procedure or orderly assembly, because if they learned these they would have a means of dealing with their dissatisfaction with the government thus the civil unrest that is to be avoided at all costs.

7. Promote radio, television, and other media that will accomplish the demoralization, desensitization and destruction of self esteem by subsidizing businesses that promote these aims.

8. Discredit, as much as possible, the older generation so the young feel they know better. Especially make them feel that wrinkles, yellowing teeth, and a bit of flab are signs of dementia.

9. Then, and this is the kicker, set up in the educational process for what you want workers, not citizens, to know.

10. Define a job list that has dignity and prestige attached to it, making sure that things that would care for the people are eliminated. Even though we need some of the jobs that have been discouraged like mothering, making your own shoes and clothing or growing, preserving, and cooking your own food, Thus making us all passive, fat, self riotous consumers rather than intelligent thoughtful customers.

Haven't they done a good job!? Can you look at an ad for a younger you or see a protest about not getting what you deserve rather than what you have earned without feeling bad about somebody?

Young people don't vote--they think there is no hope--they are afraid of strangers and are not willing to stop their neighbor's cat from dumping in their garden-- they don't feel they will be as well off as their parents( who are old, demented and were dumb anyway)--and they hate themselves, their appearance, their frailties and want to change noses, tattoo their bodies, and use wrinkle cream and teeth whitener at 20.

And we wonder why they don't participate! They don't even know they can!

Don't let them do this to any young person you have charge of!

Stuffed Pork Loin/ Flank Stake

2009-08-10T08:04:00.000-07:00

Cut a 3 lb Pork loin roast out to be one inch thick and 12 inches long.
Filling: Saute in 2 tbls butter--chopped 5 large mushrooms, one head of garlic sliced thin, and season them with 1 tablespoon 5 spice powder, salt and pepper to taste.
Let cool.
Spread on open roast then roll and tie to keep in place
Cook in a 325o oven for 1 hour and 15 minutes.
Let stand covered for 15-20 minutes to set juices

Serve with sweet potato, green beans and applesauce.

Flank Steak roll

Filling: Mushrooms, onions and thyme.
Bake 325o until 135o in center. Let stand covered 15- 20 minutes to set juices.
might be good Served with Mashed potatoes, zucchini-yellow squash-onion steamed.

Build, Build, Build

2009-08-07T09:15:00.000-07:00

If a contractor came upon a prime located property, just what he wanted for a building he had in his mind. Perfect, except that it had been an old creosote factory, and now was used as a dump for unwanted furniture, trash, a few old cars, and smelled to high heaven. And, this same property was a swamp full of dead trees rotting vegetation and filth. And, it also had been a depository for dead cows from the local farms and chicken manure and all manure of farm waste. Even to see what this land could be he had to overlook all the filth! But, he was a great contractor and could see right past it to the finished building, eco friendly, green roof, undisturbed wet land--everything.

What would he do?

Would he complain about the unknown people who had dumped their unwanted trash, find the farmers that had dumped the dead animals and complain about the way the property had been misused and neglected? Perhaps, but most likely if he really wanted to build his dream on this property he would negotiate with the city to clean up the property for tax relief, and dumping rights in the city waste disposal. He would get his contractors in to clean up and clear the land, properly dispose of the filth and animal remains and cut down and recycle the trees, clean up and plan around the wet spots, drill holes for pylon supports and plot out what the new building would look like right there.

It would be a waste of time and would not get the property fixed for the contractor to complain or even recite what was wrong with the property other than to find folks to clean it up.

He would build, build, build!

Too much time is spent reciting what is wrong.

See, plan, build, build, build!

It is the way to get things done.

Marigold's Visit

2009-07-23T17:55:00.000-07:00

I had a clown friend that came to visit
She is a dear
We chatted until our ears grew tired
And dozed off to rest a while
Then came back for more

We walked the streets of San Francisco
And gave the cable cars a try
Saw O'Keeffe and Adams
Took pictures of trolleys and trains
And rode Bart home and there.

We saw an Egyptian tomb
and watched the stars on the ceiling
Walked in the gardens of Papyrus and Nile Lilies
and chatted until our brains were tired again.

We went to the place where movies began
Ate fine food in a tiny restaurant
and watched silent films about dogs!
All Four! Funny!

The visit was too short but that is the way it always is.
When two clowns get together
and give the town a wiz!

The Nature of Taste

2009-07-10T09:54:00.000-07:00

This week my apricots come into full ripeness--soft, juicy, creamy smooth goodness, a real treat in my mouth. I popped the first one into my mouth and my eyes rolled back and closed in pleasure. The full sweetness and soft goodness sent my whole body into a trance.

That first bite was delightful. I picked a basket full and made some apricot syrup for the winter all the while popping one or two beauties into my mouth. I could not let all of them go into the jars. The first taste of the cooled syrup was another moment of bliss. I was in culinary heaven.

The plums were also ripe, so I made Ginger Plum Sauce and again my taste buds reeled at the first taste of the cooled suace--spicy, dark plum hit the sides of my mouth like a jolt and suprised me. What a treat on chicken wings or in BarBQ sauce, I thought to myself as I put the jars on the shelf.

Then something started to happen as I continued to eat the apricots. They seemed less flavorful , almost watery. I realized that the taste buds had been awakened to the new flavor as a test to see if it was OK to eat. As I ate more my mouth did not need this test, so it quieted down its reaction to the flavor. If I thought hard as I was eating one the flavor came through, but I no longer needed to know if it was Ok to eat. My mouth just ate it for the food value because it knew it was safe.

This is why you do not eat special foods regularly. Keeping them for special occasions renews the initial reaction to the flavor and gives you much more pleasure than to eat these foods often and get used to the flavor and then just munch it.

Salt is not like that and neither is sugar so every time you "taste" it. But the more delicate unusual the flavor the more you need to have just a little of it once in a while to recieve the same pleasure.

Isn't that like life? The more you do something the more boring it gets. Maybe the mouth is a lesson. If you are hungry then by all means munch. But, if you want to experience something fully like the first time, do it just a little onece in a while and the full experience will be yours for the taking.

I Heard An Echo Today

2009-06-21T08:30:00.000-07:00

I heard an echo today from the past
Its meaning is etched in glass
Scraping its way into the soul
It mars even the deepest recesses
It yells from deep within the void to harm

What is this echo? I ask myself.
Why, since it is so hurtful, has it come back to haunt
Or rather does it taunt me with its repetition to do something this time?

It called the first time, but I was struck like stone
My body, mind and soul had no bone
So, I did nothing.

I have looked into my soul and found it wanting.
Wanting the strength and grit to address this echo now.
But how?

What is this echo?

YOU DO THIS ON PURPOSE!

This echo's impact is far and wide
It is part of who we think we are
It is how we assess each other
It is wrong, hurtful and destroys!
What can be done?

There is always a reason why someone destroys opportunity.

It is not done "on purpose"; it is done in reaction to something.
Unless that "something" is addressed the cycle of destruction is repeated over and over
And then there is the blame. . .

You don't want to succeed.
You are just lazy.
You can, but won't do it.
Your past is keeping you where you are.
I don't have the time to do anything about it.
It is up to you to change.

But, underneath the destruction is a "Child"
With all the potential he or she was born with
Stuck in a lie!

It take special attention to reach down and give this "child" a way out.
It takes loving them enough to see this "child", and then work on the way to free him or her from this echo.

Bondage comes in many forms
The mind's bondage is much harder to untie but not impossible.
Every day is a new day and that "child" waits in terror. . .

for you!

Domestic Partnership

2009-06-19T09:09:00.000-07:00

The Gay Community has this right. I used to be called a house wife but that carried with it a demotion to servant. Wife: the one who backs up but has no power in the affairs of her husband. But, Domestic Partner, Well, that is another matter. This implies that there is equality. One partner is the business partner and the other is the domestic partner.

Yes! Domestic Partner! Equal but very different from the business partner. Yes! let us "wives" start thinking of ourselves as Partners. What a difference it makes in the way we feel about the things we need to do to keep a home in good working order and the children fed, educated, and healthy. We are then not subject to our husbands but equal. And, we are in an ongoing business of the domestic life of the whole family not just a helper/servant in our households.

Yes! Domestic Partners!

The Imposter Syndrome

2009-06-12T11:48:00.000-07:00

I have just sent off another of my doings. As I let them sit in my house where I could see them for at least the last month, hoping to retain the memory of them; I realized that I had sent hundreds of these doings off and always forgot that I had done them. Or at least when I saw them again it seemed like someone else surly did it because I could not have done so well.

I think the fact is even when they were finished from that moment on it seemed like someone else had done them. I remember the ones that I did poorly much better. The ones that I did exceptionally well are a blur. Why? Maybe Chani, my son, has put his finger on it with his blog---Impostor Syndrome

I have been an impostor for most of my life.

I am a person, I have known this. But, a mom, teacher, master gardener, director of Young Author's Conferences, wife, friend, clown, executor of an estate, caretaker for the elderly, seamstress, doll maker, sign language interpreter, artist? I don't know. All of these were temporary states in an ongoing consciousness...........

Every time I get put in one of these roles I rebel deep inside myself somehow. Like it is strangling me as a person. I can fill those roles for a while but if pressed to continue past whatever internal time my consciousness has given me--I feel trapped.

If I look back on any of these roles I can see the flaws in my performance like lights in the darkness--every flaw proves I am really an imposter. But the successes? They dim into oblivion. Maybe that is why I need so much reassurance. And when I don't get it, I die and so does the since of internal accomplishment.

It would be easy to say "Oh, just don't feel that way!", but it hasn't worked.

Interesting insight.

Close Your Eyes

2009-05-24T08:09:00.000-07:00

I was just listening to James Taylor and he sang this song:

The Sun is sinking down
But the Moon is slowly rising
This old World must still be spinning 'round
And I still love you.

So, close your eyes,
You can close your eyes, it's alright.
Oh, I don't know no love songs,
and I can't sing the blues anymore...
Sure, but I can sing this song
Yes and, you can sing this song when I'm gone...

I was thinking of the times in any relationship when I could close my eyes and feel that everything was alright because I was loved.

There is so much judgment in relationships that there is always the fear of abandonment. Not just of physical leaving, but of the love leaving, the respect leaving, the kindness leaving, the caring leaving that every moment we need to keep our eyes open.

Think about this. Do you give those that are around you the feeling they can close their eyes?

Chip A Way!

2009-05-11T18:05:00.000-07:00

Chip A Way!

I cut down a tree branch that was making my yard very dark. It was about 8 feet long, 4 feet high and 6 feet wide. It blocked my way through the yard. I chopped on it in one foot segments, one branch at a time, finding the joints and using the bigger tools to cut the thicker parts.

The result was a small 2x2x2 foot pile with still further to go if I wanted to cut every segment into smaller pieces.

I thought to myself the dark shadows of our lives are like that. If we take one small piece of it at a time the darkness gives way to the light.

Chip away! The darkness is not as thick as it seems.

The Light is there!

a note from God to Moms

2009-05-10T07:54:00.000-07:00

To all Moms--a note from God

I walked out my back door and saw that God had sent us a Mother's Day bouquet. It was lovely creamed colored roses with edges of pink from being kissed by the sun. Over them rose a Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow with purple, lavender, and pale violet blooms. The dark purple are the baby blooms; the lavender are a day old; and the violet blooms are the older one.

As the rising sun hit the blossoms I stopped to wonder how could it be that the timing of this event could be Mother's Day.

Then it came to me. Mothers believe and count on yesterday to find joy, they live in today with pleasure and they are the builders of tomorrow.

What a joy to know that God knows that and reminded us with such a treat!

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-04-07T10:34:00.000-07:00

April 7th 2009

Today I saw the pictures from the Italian earthquake. The houses fallen, the rescuers bringing out the injured, the death toll of 200 so far. The after shocks are still .5 on the Rictor scale, enough to knock down what is left of the town and stop the rescuers from finding the injured.

The sadist part is that a week ago a lone seismologist went around the town with a bull horn warning of the coming earthquake and was stopped from disturbing the peace by the police and his colleagues discounted his evaluation of the danger and everyone--everyone did nothing!

In the fast 20 years those who have had control, as these colleagues did, of the information about global warming have done the same! Discrediting those who say there is danger, discounting the loudest voices and put out false information to cover their tactics.

Will we all be that stupid to listen to these people who soften the information so it does not scare people? Will the earth dangers what ever they are in your area go unprepared for? Will they catch us in our beds like they did yesterday in Italy?

I pray not! Do what you can to get the most difficult news and protect yourselves. NO FEAR JUST PREPAREDNESS!

Fashy Moments

2009-01-04T08:54:00.000-08:00

New Year’s Resolution

Years ago I had this surprising vision of my neighbor's roof out my kitchen window for a long time I have looked for the same effect and did not see it again. (Writing that day below) This morning I looked out and the twinkly little drops were there again. But…it was not the same thrill. Not the same still moment of wonder. Just the roll of the water twinkling in the sun as the frost melted.

Then I went outside. It is a frosty day bright, crisp, and cold. I heard the little humming birds tweet in the trees and as I looked to make sure they had nectar in the feeder. A little male flew about 4 feet away from me stopped in mid air to check me out then flew to the feeder and ate. Every once in a while as he licked up the sweet nectar he looked at me to make sure I wasn't going to get him. As he turned his brilliant ruby throat flashed in the sun. I had the same breathtaking awe as I had when I first saw the drops sparkle in the sun on the frosted roof.

I wonder if this is why we get bored. This thrilling realization feeling is very intoxicating. The exhilaration of seeing something for the first time is quite amazing and the desire to repeat it is almost irresistible. But is there a down side to this?

As I experienced with the roof the second time is not as powerful. In fact it is a bit flat. I wonder if looking at that roof again will ever feel like the first time. Enjoying the moments that come our way as the flash of red of the hummingbird’s throat or the sparkles on the roof were are the highlights in the painting of life. Those moments that stand out to give us pleasure while the rest of life is being lived.

I will enjoy the moments as they come and find pleasure in the things that are not flashy. This will make all of life worthwhile.

2006
A Black Roof

Night falls—A Sun dried black roof sits in the amber glow of the streetlights. Slowly tiny white fingers creep across the dark granular surface turning it into an invisible gray. The black roof is perched chilled in the amber glow waiting for redemption. Stony silence fills the night air as everything slumbers.

A faint glow at the edge of sight wakes the tiny birds sleeping in the trees. One by one they begin their morning serenade. The air fills with their music. Pink clouds fill the heavens above echoing the peachy glow of the streetlights. The peachy color turns to clear light revealing the white blanket covering the darkness of the black roof.

Quietly but swiftly fingers of brightness reach out to touch the top of the chimney warming the first row of bricks causing the tiny crystal tendrils to change form and flow under the white blanket below. Color transforms as the crystals feel the fingers of the clear transformed essence of the whiteness sneak under the blanket and dissolve its resolve to be there.

The light reaches the peak of the roof making a jagged outline of the house next door. The outline creeps relentlessly down the rough surface of the black roof, keeping its shape as it descends. The clear essence sneaks under the whiteness as it intrudes further down the surface of the black roof.

The sun’s rays hit, clear drops tumble down each shingle, each one twinkling with joy like star glitter is dancing on the black roof’s rough surface. Darkness seeps down the slope to fan out like feathers under the whiteness below.

Soon the whiteness is no more the black roof twinkles with delight. It crackles quietly as tiny wisps of white gossamer waft into the air. Redeemed at last the black roof is dry again. A day has begun.

Royalty Stops for a Treat on the Way

2008-12-29T16:48:00.000-08:00

Monarch Butterflies have been a part of my life since I was a little child. I was raised in Pacific Grove, California where the Monarchs rest on their long journey from north to south. They fill the tall pine trees along the State Park at Asilamar, hanging from the branches like garlands of orange and black flowers only they flutter even if there is no wind. They gather their strength for the rest of the flight.

Since I was raised in this wonderous place I was a butterfly, nurse to the butterflies, in a train full of butterflies or anything else our teachers could cook up so we could be in the Pacific Grove annual "Butterfly Parade".

Their migration from the flowers of the north to Mexico each year is remarkable. This one stopped by my Cosmos for a treat on its way down the coast of California.

As I painted it I realized I had never known that Monarchs have white spots all over their little bodies. Wow! as many times as I made myself into a Monarch Butterfly I never knew that.

I guess when you paint something you see things that you normally don't notice.

Gifts at Christmas Time

2008-12-26T09:52:00.000-08:00

There is not much you can give to a parent on any occasion that is not redundant or not necessary. They have lived their lives, accumulated their needs, established their homes and met their own desires.

But… there is one thing they can not do for themselves. One thing that only a child, little or grown, can do for a parent.

Respect them for the attempt to raise you

Weather you have a “good” parent or one that has failed you in some way or even in all ways each one has attempted to do their best.

War, injury, illness, pain--physical and emotional, too much intelligence or not enough, too much work or not enough work, economic excess or money problems, other duties imposed by outer circumstances, duties imposed by negative behavior of other family members, difficulties with other adult members of the family, religious or philosophical differences, dislocations, deaths that may cause mourning depression that lasts too long for others comfort, destructive habits, inabilities and incompetence, incompatibilities, disappointments, discouragements, are just a few of the mine fields they had to walk through as they were trying to do their best for you.

Some did not make it through, trauma caused PTSD in some making it imposable to be OK for you, the death of their own parents may become too much for them to bear, the loss of a job, the loss of their own dignity through intolerance of others, the pain of their own frail lives may have rendered them less than perfect.

But they tried to the best of their ability.

When it is your turn to be the parent I only hope your children realize this.

Ode to an Orange III

2008-12-04T11:51:00.000-08:00

I come to this time of year when as I walk around any store I hear sniff, cough, sneeze on the other side of the isle, the little kid who is standing in line next to me can barely be understood because of his stuffy nose, and the cashier sneezes into her hand just before she hands me my change. I can not deny it reminds me of my love of oranges and the odes I have written to this golden orb.

Here is the latest installment. (the other two are in Poetry)

Ode to an Orange III

Oh little orb of happiness
You sweetness we do cherish
We roll you like a piece of dough
And squish you until at last
We prick your wrinkly rind
With peppermint so strait and fine
And suck sublime fruity minty sweet juice
Until you look like your skin is loose.

Our tummies full we turn a new
To find a few clove blossoms
all dry and brown
That fill you skin with a heavenly smell
As we push them into your little shell.
We tie on a bow and hang you low

As you dry your fragrance fills our closets.
We can ignore the smell of the world out side
Because your beauty fills our world
With joy and pride.

How can we thank you for such bliss?
We will plant you with a kiss
Of heaven, earth, and stars above
To show you how much we love
The joy you bring at Christmas time
2008

Merry Christmas

Happy Birthday Ali!

2008-11-14T08:02:00.001-08:00

Yesterday November 13th was my little dog Ali’s 4th birthday.
He has been with me for a little over 3 years and is my constant reminder that I am loved.

Although he is not above being in the way

He wants to be with me all the time and really tells me if I am neglecting him.

Then He perks his little ears and looks at me and all is well.

HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY ALI

Happy Veterans Day!

2008-11-11T09:37:00.000-08:00

My thoughts have gone to the citizens of this country that have chosen the military as part of their lives. I have just watched the ceremony in Arlington Cemetery and listened to the marches and watched the flags go by and it gave me thought about how different we as Americans feel about this activity than when I was little.

I was raised between the Navy Post Graduate School, the Defense Language Institute and Fort Ord. Most of my friends were from families who had dedicated their lives to service of our country. There was a feeling of commodore, support and pride in doing this which I don’t feel in this country at large.

We do not realize how much support of a military force and the right use of these young people is in our own best interest. There have been engaged horrible wars that have been at the expense of the brightest and best of our young people. The Oval office has taken these forces and used them very poorly, VERY POORLY. But this does not mean we do not need these young men and women to be there for us.

I am proud of the dedication, and courage that the forces of our country show every day. I am NOT proud of how those forces have been used to further some presidential agenda.

My prayer is that each one of us that knows one of these brave people will give them a big hug, love them for their dedication and courage, and help them in any way we can to readjust to being home when President Obama brings the back.

Today is a day to remember those who will never come back. Pray for their families, friends and us all for their loss.

Happy Veterans Day!

2008-11-05T09:29:00.000-08:00

Friends

I have been very partisan in this last year as we came toward choosing a new leader of our country. Now that the country has made its choice, I choose to be an American rather than being named one party or another.

We have challenges that are at best hard—at worse could divide us further. But we must now accept the decisions and turn our eyes to the things that matter to us most. It is time to rally to our own best interests and drop the bickering that has caused us this harm.

There is no better place to live, no better way to live it. But, in order to benefit from this way of life we must embrace it and go on to fill our selves with hope for our own and our grandchildren’s future.

If we stay bitter we will kill our own future. The world is dying and we need to heal it. Species and ecosystems that we depend on for our own lives are threatened. Drought will come. Too much rain will come, earth quakes will come, economic instability will come, food shortages will come, our loses will show up in so many ways it may be hard to bear. But we will still be here!

What will we do about it? Will we fight with each other? Blame each other? Find fault with each other? Will we pick at each other until it is beyond our reach to change what is wrong?

Or, will we find a way to heal ourselves so we can look those who have been our opponents in the eye and say—“Let us find a way to fix this!” I will say to my very soul—

What can I do to fix this?

Fall Duties of Titmice

2008-10-26T07:16:00.000-07:00

By Gamildclair Huggins
with

Adolf, Lon & Canthy

Dorie, Sharice, Sly (hiding on the back pumpkin) and Ned

Pillows

Summer is over! The air is getting cooler. The wind is blowing and the leaves are turning bright colors. Sisters Dorie and Sharice gathered nesting for their winter borrow. They gathered Lavender buds because they smell so good. They stuffed the buds into their pillows so all winter long they can remember summer.

“I think I will put in some of these nice red Rose petals too.” Says Dorie.

“That will smell really good too.” says Sharice as she fills her cheeks with more Lavender buds and scurries off to fill her pillow. There are not too many blossoms left but the seed buds are really sweet and fragrant.

“I guess we should make pillows for Sly and Ned too. So we will need to come back for more,” decides Sharice.

“Oh, do you think there is enough time left to do that?” Dorie replied.

“Sure, but we had better hurry before the rain comes and spoils them” Sharice assured her.

Dorie and Sharice fill their cheeks with the sweet Lavender seeds buds and scurry home to stuff and sew up the pillows.

A Tasty Snack

Sly and Ned were twin boys. They loved to do things together and often found really good stuff. This morning Sly was out by himself foraging for something to eat. He was always hungry for something different so often went out by himself to new places, but most of the time he didn’t want to be alone. Ned didn’t like it either.

Sly found an apple tree and filled up on the sweet fruit. These would not keep over the winter well until they were dried, so he just ate it.

Later he would tell Ned, Dorie and Sharice where to find them, so they could have a snack too. Maybe later in the fall some would have dried enough so the apples would store longer.

“They would make a tasty treat then too,” he thought to himself. “I won’t forget to come back and get the dried ones.” He would need to check back soon before the rain came and they rotted.

He stuffed his cheeks with more apple and scampered off to tell the others what he had found. When he got there everyone was out of the borrow. “I wonder where they went” then he heard giggling in the distance and he knew that Dorie and Sharice were under the oak tree.

“They are probably gathering acorns he said to him self. I had better get over there.”

Acorns and Squirrels

Dorie, Sharice, and Ned had gathered acorns from the oak leaves under the big oak tree. Sly joined them told them about the apples. Ned and he ran around a bit until the girls called them back to finish the job. They made a big pile, now they needed to put them all away Ned thought that putting them in the ground would be best. After all the turnips worked that way, so they dig little holes all over the place and put one acorn in at a time.

“It is getting too dark now, so we had better start in the morning,” Sharice noticed.

Dorie didn’t want to stop looking for the acorns but she couldn’t tell the acorns from the leaves, so she said “It is too dark. Let’s go in.”

The next morning Ned and Sly woke up early and went out to get the acorns. They were gone! “Those lazy squirrels took our stash! We will need to get the girls and gather some more.” Sly said disappointed and angry at the squirrels.

So Ned and Sly got Dorie and Sharice up. “Wake up sleepy heads the squirrels took all the acorns!”

“Oh! Darn!” they both said together. They looked at each other and giggled “Tee hee hee,” covering their mouths with their tiny paws. They were always doing that.

They all trundled out to gather the acorns. They worked for half the day and stashed the acorns in little holes in the field and took many home to their stash the other half of the day, so the squirrels would not get them again.

“I hope we can find them in those holes when we are hungry.” says Ned.

“Oh don’t worry they will be right here when we want them.” said Sly as he scampered to the next place and put his tiny orange nose down in the hole and droped in the acorn.

“We can put them here and over there, down under the apple tree and out in the yard near the corn field” Ned told Sly.

“Maybe we could save a few more this time inside so we don’t have to look for them,” replied Sly.

“No, there isn’t any more room in the storage. We will just need to look for them when we want to eat acorns,” Ned reassured Sly.

“Oh I guess” Sly replied with a big sigh. “But can we at least put a twig over them so we can find them?”

Ned laughed. “This big tree drops millions of twigs a day that won’t help.Oh don’t worry they will be right here when we want them.”

Sly scampered to the next place and put his tiny orange nose down in the hole and drops in another acorn. “I guess you are right, but you need to help me find them when we want them!” retorted Sly with his paws on his hips.

“You know I will.” Said Ned and patted his brother on the head.

“I, just hope we can find them when we are hungry.” Ned said under his breath.

The Soft Spot

There has been a great crop of pumpkins this year. They had been testing the pumpkins since they turned orange. But they were too hard to get into. So they waited until a spot on the pumpkin got soft and each gnawed into the soft flesh of the pumpkin. Each Titmouse filled their tummies with the sweet pumpkin pulp, then got as many seeds as they could hold in their cheeks then looked for places to hide the pumpkin seeds. Again they made little holes in the grass and plunked in a pumpkin seed or two in each.

Last year they forgot where a few were so in the spring there were pumpkin plants and oak trees all over the place. “Where did they come from?” they all exclaimed but were delighted when the pumpkin plants grew lots of new pumpkins to eat.

Ned and Sly got so carried away putting things in holes that they put all their pumpkin seeds in holes next to the acorns. Even on top of the burrow! We will see what happens next year.

The Other Side of the Forest

Way on the other side of the great forest cousins Adolph and Lon are gathering in winter vegetables. They like carrots and turnips so they are bringing them into their nest just in case there is a time they might want a tasty treat.

Adolph, Canthy and Lon also like acorns. Boy! There are a lot under the oak tree this year. The Blue Jays and squirrels have been dropping them on the ground. Blue Jays and Squirrels like to eat them in the trees so they leave the ones on the ground for the Titmice and Possums.

As Lon pulls a big piece of turnip down the burrow Adolph notices that it will not fit especially with Lon’s mouth full of acorns. “You can’t get that in there!” he protests.

Just as Adolph said that Lon yelped “I’- s-uck! H--lk!” he screeches with his mouth full.

Adolph grabed onto Lon’s curly tail and tried to pull him back out of the hole but he is really stuck. Adolph ran back and up the nearest tree to size up the situation as Lon wimpers, stuck tight in the hole, front paws on the big turnip and mouth crammed with acorns.

“Peese h—lk me” he wines, his mouth still chock full of nuts.

From the tree Adolph can see that the hole is tightly surrounding Lon’s tummy. “I think I can dig you out, Lon, if you just hold still” he yells from the tree. Lon is so busy trying to get out he can hardly hear what Adolph is saying and struggles all the more to get him self out but only digs himself in further.

Adolph scampers down the tree and comes over to Lon and touches him on his back and says quite sternly “Sit still!” Lon quiets down and Adolph begins to dig. “Boy, you really got yourself stuck in there. I think all the wiggling has got you stuck worse.”

Lon begins to cry, but that makes it even worse. “Stop crying, you are getting the dirt all wet and muddy!” Adolph says.

Lon takes a deep breath as well as he can with all those acorns in his mouth. “Ota.” he says quietly.
Adolph began to dig all around Lon, to the left-- then on top-- then on the right --then under Lon. “-Top! Y--r -ickling me!” Lon squeaks laughing.

“Sorry, I am almost finished” Adolph exclaims. “There now you can wiggle your way back out. Just a little at a time now, careful!”

Lon’s shoulders appear, then his little black ears, then his little orange eyes blink away the dirt and he is free. He spits out the acorns. “Thanks” he says with a sigh. “I was really stuck. Oh look-- the opening to our burrow is bigger now the turnip will fit!”

“Oh no you don’t!” Adolph exclaims. “We will leave the turnip in the ground then get some when we want it next time. They won’t spoil. Let’s get all the acorns we can. I know where there is corn too.”

“Oh goodie! Let’s go! I love corn.” Lon says and bounds off.

Wait a minute! You don’t know where it is. You’ll get lost! Lon! Lon! Wait!” but Lon was long gone.

“Darn. I guess I will have to go get him.” Adolph says to Canthy and they both went to find Lon and to show him where the corn is. They knew he would get lost.

When they found Lon he was on the pumpkins very close to the corn so he was not lost like they thought.

As they gathered the corn kernels they were thinking of the nice meals they would have in the winter—Hasty pudding, Corn soup, Corn with Beans, Corn Bread, Tamale Pie! Boy, they could hardly wait.

“I like roasted pumpkin seeds too” says Adolph. We should find a soft pumpkin and save the seeds in our borrow so we can roast them at Christmas”.

“Ya, and I know where there is a big Chestnut tree. We can save some of chestnuts for Christmas too!” says Canthy.

“Oh! I know where that is!” exclaims Lon and runs off as fast as he can.

“There he goes again.” Adolph says with a big sigh.

“Ya, I bet he will bring back the biggest one he can find and we will have to help him try to get it in our borrow,” chuckles Canthy.

What Luck

After the work of getting the pumpkin seeds Adolph was tired. He found a great pile of leaves with the sun beating down on it. What a great place to take a rest. Soon he was fast asleep. He started to dream. Little red balls swimming in a lake. Long green vines with green leaves, he played ball with the little red balls kicking them to Lon and Canthy, rolling them on the ground. Adolph woke up with a start. “What was that all about? Balls, Red, ground, vines? I don’t get it” he thought to himself.

As he opened his eyes after his dream he sniffed the air. “Oh!” he exclaimed. “I know what that dream was about.” He scurried off to get Canthy and Lon.

“Hey you guys we forgot the tomatoes!” he yelled as he arrived.

“OH ya! We had better go get them. They must be dry by now. I hope the squirrels and Blue Jays haven’t gotten them. That little white dog loves to eat them too. I hope he doesn’t know where they are,” said Canthy.

They scampered off to the tomato patch. The tomatoes were the tiny grape type that were just their size. They could put several in their cheeks at a time and bring them back to their burrow. “They will make a tasty soup with the carrots, peas and turnips,” they all thought. Back and forth they went from the patch to the storage making a trail between their doorway and the tomato patch. When they realized that somebody could follow the trail to their borrow they used their tails to sweep the dirt so it did not make a line right to their front door. “That would not be safe.” Adolph said.

They hurried around and got as many as they could fit into the storage place just for tomatoes. It felt good to get that finished.

On the home front

Later Canthy wanted to organize the burrow. She was the best organizer in the family. So, deep in the borrow Canthy was fixing places for everything. She liked a neat borrow. She made up all the beds, cleaned up the living room and fixed a large place to store the food that the boys continue to bring back on their hunts.

Canthy likes sweet smells just like her cousins Dorie and Sharice. She has also gathered Lavender and Rose petals for her pillow.

When Canthy is finished with the things she wants to do, the smell of the Lavender is so sweet that it lures her to curls up and snuggles with her pillow. “Soon the boys will be back and they all will have plenty of work to do finishing up the filling of the food storage for winter” she thinks to herself but for now she can dream of spring.

Canthy wakes from her nap. The boys are not back yet so she scampers outside. “I am hungry for a snack.” Searching she finds a lush strawberry to eat, the last of the season, what a great lunch. It is really big but she was so hungry from all that work that she eats it all up

Maybe there is another few strawberries I can put in the sun to dry and save for later.” She scurries around the strawberry patch looking under each leaf and finds 6 small ones and 2 big ones. The small ones will dry quickly and be easy to save so she takes them to a sunny safe place to dry where the Blue Jays can’t find them. “Lon and Adolph will really like strawberries too,” she says to herself. So she brings the big ones back for the boys snack.

A Blue Encounter

“Oh, yes the Blue Jays. Those pests! Just the other day one started to screech as they do. Within seconds 6 humming birds came to the rescue of what ever he was screeching about.” Adolph said to Canthy. “We all know that they will eat anything and don’t like it a bit. I don’t know if they figured out what he was screeching about or not but it was not long before two other Blue Jays arrived. Then they all scattered,”

Canthy thought she had better keep looking up. Those Blue Jays might get all their storage! Thieves that they are!

Blue Jays and squirrels were the first to find the sunflower seeds. Adolph, Canthy and Lon knew where a big patch of orange and brown sunflowers were. They had seen them in the spring and knew just where they were. Every day they had stopped by to see if the seeds had dried. Today Canthy came by and saw that some of the seeds were missing.

“Those darn Blue Jays!” she exclaimed. “Adolph, Lon the Blue Jays have been in the sunflower patch!” she yelled. “Come quick and get some before they are all gone.”

As they picked the sunflower seeds two large bright blue Blue Jays came by. “Screech, Screech, what are you doing in our sunflower patch?” the biggest one said menacingly. The Titmice ran for cover. They ran so fast that the Blue Jays couldn’t tell where they went.

“Well, I showed them!” screeched the big Blue Jay.

“You sure did” said the other. “Your bad! Your bad!” he chanted.

The biggest Blue Jay puffed up, strutted up to a sunflower and plucked a seed out of it. “These are ours! Those little mice are no match for us.” And he strutted off with the smaller one right behind strutting just like he had chased the Titmice away.

But the Titmice were cleaver. The cleaver Titmice knew that the Blue Jays had been bulling all the animals of the forest all day and had warn themselves out so the Titmice came at dusk when the Blue Jays sleeping, and gathered up the sunflower seeds. “Won’t they be surprised in the morning,” Lon whispered as they filled their cheeks.

Finishing up

The Titmice have worked very hard getting all the food into the storage room in the borrows. Each one had made a bedding space with the pillows filled with Lavender. They have worked together to gather in all the dried fruit, seeds and dried vegetables into the storage room. They have cleaned up all the stems and dirt that they tracked into the borrow doorway tunnels.

Ned, Sly, Dorie and Sharice felt very good about the job they had done. Their burrow is ready for the winter. That night they curled up in their warm beds and slept dreaming of all the nummy food that they had gathered.

The next morning they woke ready for the day but what to do? All the work was finished. It was still really nice outside. The rain had not come yet, the sun was shining and the ground was covered with yellow, red and brown leaves.

“Everything is neat and clean now, and the storage is full,” Sharice said, “We should do something fun today.”

“Ya!” exclaimed the twins.

“But what?” asked Dorie.

Sharice thought for a long time. “First we should have breakfast. Sly would you get the pieces of apple you found and I will get the pumpkin seeds that I gathered yesterday. They all sat down and munched on some fresh pumpkin seeds and sweet apple.

As they sat munching away Ned popped up with “Let’s go see the cousins!”

“That’s a great idea” said Sly enthusiastically throwing pumpkin seeds in the air

The girls together shouted “Yah I want to go!” then looked at each other giggling because they had said the same thing.

They quickly cleaned up the mess Sly had made getting so excited.

Off they went out the cleaned doorway tunnels, out onto the red, yellow and brown leaves, across the pumpkin patch, under the apple tree, through the corn field to the tree lined entry to other side of the forest.

“Stop a minute,” Dorie said, “I’m getting tired.”

“Come on let’s just get there! I bet I can beat you Ned,” yelled Sly and he dashed off.

“Oh No you don’t!” Yelled Ned and started off after him.

“I’ll walk with you, Dorie.” Sharice said softly. Just then they saw Adolph, Canthy and Lon in the distance coming their way. They met at the top of the hill.

“We were coming to see you!” ---“We were coming to see you too!” They all said at once.

The girls all giggled and danced together. The boys ran around in circles chasing each other.

“Which way should we go?” they asked each other. “Well our house is bigger,” said Dorie and Sharice.

That’s true said Adolph lets go to your house. They all trundled off out of the tree lined entry to other side of the forest--across through the corn field --under the apple tree-- across the pumpkin patch and over the red yellow and brown leaves to the front door of the twins and the girls borrow.

Once they were inside the girls went into the kitchen to make Hasty Pudding their favorite dessert while the boys played hide and seek in the leaves. It was a wonderful end to the duties of the Fall. All the Titmice were very proud and knew the winter would be a fine one now that they had finished their work.

This is the Titmouse’s favorite dessert when they go and visit each other.

Hasty Pudding
(Cornmeal mush)

1 cup corn meal in 1 cup cold water
2 cups boiling water in sauce pan
2 Tbls sugar
¼ tsp salt
Bring water to boil, mix cornmeal, sugar and salt in cold water. Mix the cornmeal mixture into the boiling water carefully, stirring constantly, lower heat and cover, let simmer for 5 minutes.

“I like to serve it without stirring it so there are little floating islands of the pudding in a sea of milk,” says Sharice.

“I like it smooth and creamy all mixed up.” says Adolph.

“I like it with dehydrated berries and cream on mine,” says Sly.

“I like it in a big lump in my bowl sprinkled with sugar so it melts like a crust then it floats in the milk. I take little bites of it with a bit of milk until I get to the soft middle, then I gobble it all up,” says Ned.

“Oh! My favorite is putting peach jam that Sharice makes in the summer in my Hasty Pudding,” pipes up Canthy. “Dorie what is your favorite?”

“Well, I will have to think about that. I just like it all those ways,” says Dorie

Lon just says “Yum! Yum! Yum!” as he gobbled his up.

Until next time

Hints for using less heating in the winter

2008-10-21T10:26:00.000-07:00

1. Bedrooms, more oxygen is contained in cooler air. Sleeping with a cooler bedroom helps deeper resting sleep. Close off the heater vents to these rooms during the day and keep them cool at night for better health. Have a mattress pad under your sheets, and use high loft covers to conserve warmth. Don’t put your bed near a window where cool air drafts could chill you and in very cold arias ware a knitted hat at night. (Sounds silly but putting your head under the covers makes the air you are breathing thick and not good for you.)

2. Stairways. A drape using a tension rod to hold it up over the bottom of a stairway helps keep the heat in the parts of the house that are used during the day.

3. Clothing. 35% of the heat of your body is lost through the top of your head. If you are really cold put on some kind of head covering. Another good % goes out your legs and ankles, put on high top socks or legwarmers—even with thin shoes you will be warmer but thicker soles and waterproof shoes are the best.

4. Get used to the cooler weather so when you need the heat you will not turn it up so high. Your body needs time to adjust, so go outside when it is cool and breathe deeply letting your body know that the cooler feeling is ok. You will feel better and not need to have the air so warm.

5. Hot drinks temporarily warm you when you are cold. Some like coffee make you sweat so be careful if you are outside, dampness will chill you.

6. Not getting too cold is the key. Do not let yourself get chilled. If you feel you are getting cold go in, bundle up, put on a warm hat. Remember fluffy, thick clothing holds more heat. With warm clothing and your body adjusted to the temperatures you will avoid getting chilled. It will take a lot more heat to get you warm.

7. If you do get chilled a warm bath will most quickly get you warm again but don’t get your hair wet and get into dry clothing when you get out.

8. Use the heat of the sun to warm the house during the day. Open the drapes and let the sun warm your furniture and the air in your room. Just as the sun moves off close the drapes. You will be surprised how much heat you can collect.

These seem like thing that are silly, but I will guarantee that you will feel and be warmer with much less heat.

Taking advantage of opportunities

2008-10-19T12:53:00.001-07:00

Often we get so preoccupied that we miss opportunities. But there are the other times when our skepticism causes us to miss the timing of an opportunity. This is a classic problem.

This past few weeks the economy has tanked, stock market crashed, the credit market stalled, 401ks dropped by 35% and most people can not get a car or home loan. This was not a surprise but most ignored or denied the down turn was coming. Many others took advantage and got out of investments or real estate and made a lot of money. Which were you? Yep me too!

This is not just a unique situation it starts when we are very young about 2 years old when we say “NO” to everything.

As a child one of the only things you have control over is your participation. You can do or not do—eat or not eat, go to bed or keep bugging your parents, get into things or not, well, you know what I am talking about.

As you become more aware of subtle ways to say “NO” you stay home rather than going with your family, opt out of activates and still refuse to eat stuff you don’t know. If you do not reevaluate this resistance you become an outsider, isolated by your own skepticism and miss learning opportunities and much more.

There is an adjustment that needs to be made.

Just to give a bit of a background. I am late to jump on almost every opportunity that comes along. Examples: almonds, corn and apples ripening, I usually miss them thinking that I should give them more time or just don’t want them when they come ripe. Then there is the black bananas that are always on my counter waiting to be made into bread--missed lots of those opportunities!

And sometimes folks ask me to do things and my first reaction is “no thanks”—reciently I was asked to join others to watch the debates, the night of it I decided that I didn’t want to go then the next day I thought I would have liked to talk to someone about it. Darn missed that opportunity! Or...I don’t feel like doing the dishes or getting dressed that day and someone important turns up at my door—bad impression. Darn missed that one.

Oh, it is in all sorts of little things that we say “no” first then realize we have been foolish and missed an opportunity. Anyway, it is worth thinking about your own attitude about things. Food, for example, so many of us have found delight in new tastes that to refuse to try something is really missing an opportunity. Going places, for example, how many wonderful things could we have done if we hadn’t wanted to be different and not go. This economic situation—if we had listened to those who were sounding the warning we may have avoided this crash. And the list goes on.

Think about opportunity—What is it? How can I take advantage of it? What do I really risk? What could it hurt to listen, think and make informed judgment? Wow! What a thought. At 2 we jumped to “NO”. Is it possible we have grown out of this resistance? Should we? I think yes. Opportunities are knocking jump on them!

Taking advantage of opportunities

2008-10-19T12:53:00.000-07:00

Often we get so preoccupied that we miss opportunities. But there are the other times when our skepticism causes us to miss the timing of an opportunity. This is a classic problem.

This past few weeks the economy has tanked, stock market crashed, the credit market stalled, 401ks dropped by 35% and most people can not get a car or home loan. This was not a surprise but most ignored or denied the down turn was coming. Many others took advantage and got out of investments or real estate and made a lot of money. Which were you? Yep me too!

This is not just a unique situation it starts when we are very young about 2 years old when we say “NO” to everything.

As a child one of the only things you have control over is your participation. You can do or not do—eat or not eat, go to bed or keep bugging your parents, get into things or not, well, you know what I am talking about.

As you become more aware of subtle ways to say “NO” you stay home rather than going with your family, opt out of activates and still refuse to eat stuff you don’t know. If you do not reevaluate this resistance you become an outsider, isolated by your own skepticism and miss learning opportunities and much more.

There is an adjustment that needs to be made.

Just to give a bit of a background. I am late to jump on almost every opportunity that comes along. Examples: almonds, corn and apples ripening, I usually miss them thinking that I should give them more time or just don’t want them when they come ripe. Some times folks ask me to do things and my first reaction is “no thanks”—I was asked to join others to watch the debates, the night of it I decided that I didn’t want to go, then the next day I thought I would have liked to talk to someone about it. Darn missed that opportunity! Or don’t feel like doing the dishes or getting dressed that day and someone important turns up at my door—bad impression. Darn missed that one.

Oh, it is in all sorts of little things that we say “no” first then realize we have been foolish and missed an opportunity. Anyway, it is worth thinking about your own attitude about things. Food, for example, so many of us have found delight in new tastes that to refuse to try something is really missing an opportunity. Going places, for example, how many wonderful things could we have done if we hadn’t wanted to be different and not go. This economic situation—if we had listened to those who were sounding the warning we may have avoided this crash. And the list goes on.

Think about opportunity—What is it? How can I take advantage of it? What do I really risk? What could it hurt to listen, think and make informed judgment? Wow! What a thought. At 2 we jumped to “NO”. Is it possible we have grown out of this resistance? Should we? I think yes. Opportunities are knocking jump on them!

How we got into this mess

2008-10-09T10:21:00.000-07:00

It has come to my attention that it is important to take all legitimate information into consideration. It is important too to know when that information IS legitimate.

When I have said in the past that I will not listen to some or other information it is because I have deemed it illegitimate. That information is incorrect, based on faulty thinking, formulated to be self-serving or just plain a fabrication.

In this election I have seen from the Republican side out right lie. Not just small ones but ones that are designed to discredit in the minds of those who do not follow politics. This means most of us. They are designed to obscure, distract or even demean in order to prop up an otherwise unsound position. This unsound position is the philosophy that says that the market will correct itself is just not true. This economy was destroyed by greed. Greed was supported by denying that greed existed and that there needed to be no oversight, no regulation or rules because people are basically Good. The Republicans let the dogs out!!!

People are good/right/acceptable when they know what good/right/acceptable is!

An example: If you know you are giving people things they can not pay for it is not good/right/acceptable to give them a loan and let them deal with loosing everything . It is just not right! It is not good for business! It is not good for the country!

The subprime situation is a perfect example.
1. If it is legal we will do it. No laws means anything goes!
2. If we will not have to deal with the consequences we don’t have to worry about them.
3. If we can convince someone who doesn’t know any better to do something it is their fault for believing us rather than our fault for knowing better and not helping them to understand. (Let the buyer beware!)

The trouble with this is that when so many “Good” people think that something, that is really wrong, is ok the whole country suffers!

1. Getting older people to refinance into these subprime loans then foreclosing on them when the arm of the payment doubled
1. Putting families into homes that were too expensive for their income then foreclosing on them
3. Giving families that should be renting loans that they can’t afford in the first place then jacking up the payments so they loose the home you convinced them they could have etc…

As well as…

1. selling the loan to a lender
2. Having that lender sell that loan along with others in a bundle to a investment structure
3. Having them sell it to a retirement fund…
4. Not one of them knowing that the bad loan had been made… OH MY GOD!

Then let’s add the hundreds of sudo-educators that have held seminars in Real Estate investment, foreclosure, short selling, flipping etc... Thousands have attended these seminars, believed the sales pitch, and gone on to be some of the ones that got us into this mess!

I myself attended a conference with 5000 people in SF CA. We were taught to cheat the American Public as an ethical practice. It was amazing…35 “teachers”, (Famous people!) selling their ideas of making money through real estate investment on CD’s and in manuals. No oversight of the material, no classroom participation, no testing to see if the participants could really do it, no accountability for what their students were doing!

How many of those attendees went right out and dabbled in real estate. How many of those folks are the very ones that got innocent folks into this mess?

The philosophy of the Republican Party is WRONG. Their idea of no rules, regulations and government staying out of businesses' way is wrong. Their ideals, platform, and willingness to lie is WRONG.

Not listening to them is the least of what I should do.

FALLING

2008-09-10T08:23:00.000-07:00

Fear is a funny thing. I found myself with no fear. None at all. I did not even think of the safety things that would keep me from needing to be afraid. I even suppressed the since of pain. This was not a conscious thing, but the letting go of all the little taunts that enter my mind as I go about my day. “Be careful this or that will hurt you.” – “Don’t do this because this or that is going to happen if you do.” – “You better watch out this is DANGEROUS!”, and many others. I just did not hear them anymore. As if some how I was not aware that anything could hurt me.

I had noticed that my natural hesitation was gone, but I did not know to what extent it had evolved. Until… I set the ladder to get on a roof. I know how to set ladders. I know that the center of gravity needs to be in line with the feet of the ladder, placing it so the person on it has a solid foundation to get up on the roof. I know that ladders can slip. I know that as you shift your weight onto the roof the ladder is your anker to the ground and will support you IF it is set up properly. I know all this. But some how this day all my learning, all my caution was not there.

I set up the ladder, evaluated it, I don’t know why, incorrectly, setting it 8 feet out away from the building at a ridiculous angle of about this angle. Ridiculous! I hopped up and got to the top.
As I stepped off the ladders footing slipped on the cement pad
and through me off the roof backwards.

Roof I fell off

Retaining wall my back hit

Again as I say I still had no fear. I thought to myself as I was falling, “Well, I guess I won’t be doing this project for a while. I guess I will need to finish the quilt.”

I laid there for about 5 minutes assessing what I had done to myself. I had fallen back first against a fence and slid down to hit my ribs on the base retaining wall. I could feel that my ribs were probably broken and as I tried to move I knew that my left foot had hit the cement pad then been hit by the ladder rung and was pinned under the ladder.

I yelled for my neighbor but it was 7:30 pm and he was already inside and could not hear me. I was at the very back of the yard in a little alcove, so even if someone came in the back they would not see me. I yelled for a while but everyone was in for the evening. So I tried to move--again with no fear! The pain overwhelmed me a few times, but I managed to untangle myself from the ladder, find a long stick and assess if my foot or anything else was broken. It took half an hour from when I fell to get to the front of the house to the phone. Tiny step and wait, tiny step and wait all the way.

The thing that amazes me is that at no time was I afraid. No since that I would die, no since of anything but getting help, assessing the damage and figuring out what to do next.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about how to prevent things like this from happening. But I never realized that fear is not what really is experienced when something real happens.

Fear is the anticipation of something happening--amazingly useless.

Caution and clear thinking are much more useful.

No fear-- just good judgment.

Quilts I designed and made while I recovered.

This quilt was for the new baby of a construction company family.

This one was so his big sister would not get jealous.This quilt was in my Great Aunt Aurora's sewing from 1950's. She had mail ordered the kit. She had done the first two children and I finished the rest and hand quilted it. What a joy to see it finished. This one was for a friend who loves frogs.

The Smiling Sugar Bowel

2008-09-07T07:51:00.000-07:00

I have a Blue Willow sugar bowel, snowy white and blue

It keeps my sugar for me ‘til I want it too.

I fill it with cute little white sugar cubes,

which come neatly in a row.
Unlike crystal sugar that piles up like snow.

When the cubes fill it up the little top sits on it askew.
They jumble up in its plump little belly

waiting for the coffee to brew.

My little sugar bowel smiled up at me

with its hat tilted to one side
Its the little white cubes glistening.

Its smile opened wide.

"I’m ready for your coffee now,

with snowy cubes anew
Bring on the steamy brew and

you will see what I can do!"

Ode to the Orange I, II, III

2008-09-07T07:41:00.000-07:00

Oh! Little Golden Orb of Sunshiny Pleasure
You bless us at Christmastime with your cheerfulness.
In springtime nestled in the leaves
Your tiny white flowers perfume the air all around
With a thick and sweet honey fragrance.
In your first days you are tiny and green,
But you grow into plump sunny joy by winter just when we need you.
Dimpled yellow-gold spheres hang like Christmas ornaments
On the tip of a shiny leafed branch.
Heavy with sun and rain and golden goodness
A good shake and you come tumbling to the ground.
The scent of your skin fills my hand
As I rescue you from the fallen leaves
My fingernail breaks the surface of your golden peel
Like sprites, your fragrant oils jump into the air
They will not be lost to my hungry mouth!
Your soft spongy white fills my nails
The silky pungent oil turns my hand shiny orange.
I save your peel or another treat.
If I am careful I do not spill even a tiny bit of the precious juice
That lies inside your perfectly sectioned belly.
(Is your belly button an iny or an outy?)
Covered with a thin white paper
Your sections open to reveal golden droplets filled with juice.
Your essence fills the air and my mouth waters in anticipated Joy!
I pull out a smiley wedge
Pop it full on to my waiting tongue.
My teeth sink into the golden droplets
The juice runs down my tongue filling
My mouth,
My nose,
My consciousness with pure joy.
Whole, sliced into wheels or smiles, fresh or cooked, candied or jellied
Oh! Little Golden Orb of Sunshiny Pleasure,
Full of color, scent, sweet taste,
Healthful Christmas pleasure on a cold rainy or snowy day
You are the best!
Merry Christmas 2006

Ode to the Orange II

Oh! Precious orange so round and bright
Keep us healthy all through the cold winter night

Your succulent little wedges make us smile
All the while making our insides free of bile

O little wonder of the winter
How do you do it?
My nose is not stuffy
My throat is not sore
My chest can breathe deeply
In the cold snowy air.

Even though you don’t grow here
You think of us all summer
Making your little green orbs
That turn orange to brighten
Our Tum Tum Tummers
May all the winters be brightened with your presence
While we gleefully unwrap all our presents.

Christmas 2007

Ode to an Orange III

Oh little orb of happiness
You sweetness we do cherish
We roll you like a piece of dough
And squish you until at last
We prick your wrinkly rind
With peppermint so strait and fine
And suck sublime fruity minty sweet juice
Until you look like your skin is loose.

Our tummies full we turn a new
To find a few clove blossoms
all dry and brown
That fill you skin with a heavenly smell
As we push them into your little shell.
We tie a bow and hang you low and
As you dry your fragrance fills our closets.
We can ignore smell of the world out side
Because your beauty fills our world
With joy and pride.

How can we thank you for such bliss?
We will plant you with a kiss
Of heaven, earth, and stars above
To show you how much we love
The joy you bring at Christmas time
2008

Fair and unbiased

2008-09-07T04:03:00.000-07:00

The American media have prided themselves on their objectivity and fairness. Recently, I have become aware that this pride has left them open to being manipulated by those who would lie to get their way. Because of the media’s need to feel they have been fair to everyone they allow anyone to speak without going through the material for lies. This may seem like censorship but in fact it is responsible reporting. Allowing someone to publicly speak untruths is the same as promoting the lie. Letting raving, lies, misdirection and flat out deception air is unconscionable.

Fair and unbiased should give the media the responsibility to search out facts and present them without attachment. FACTS? Yes, real facts they do exist and should be what is in the news. This is our right to a free press. Allowing someone to guilt the media into airing or printing something that is outright a lie is breaking the contract with the people. The media is the watchdog of our rights. Why are they not functioning that way?

Bubbles

2008-09-06T10:14:00.000-07:00

Bubbles

Beautiful—Fragile—

Temporary—Memorable—

Just like us.

We remember the beauty

We are thankful for it.

As we should be for each other

Remember that you are also like

the bubble

Make the most of the time

You have with each other.

Thank goodness for the Beauty

Of each moment.

Is guilt really guilt?

2008-09-06T09:47:00.000-07:00

Is Guilt Really Guilt?

I feel uncomfortable when I realize I have made a mistake.

I feel bad when I haven’t done something that I feel I should have.

I have difficulties doing other things until I apologize for a wrong done to someone else.

I feel dirty if my house is not vacuumed and dusted.

When I am too tired to do the dishes or to busy to water the garden I am not happy with myself.

I feel shame when I eat two packs of cookies in 4 days just because they were there.

Is this really the big G --Guilt?

No.

Don't sweat the little things. These are not guilt, but your own need for order and consistant behavior with your values.

Guilt is not these uncomfortable feelings. Guilt is much more than that. It is the recognition that you are not as nice as you thought you were. Guilt is the full recognition that you have done something to someone or something that has damaged them forever. Guilt is the realization that you will willfully do things that you know are wrong.

Forgiveness comes when you fully recognize this and try your hardest not to do the things that harmed others by your actions or inactions. This try and the attempt to make the wrong right is the path to forgiving yourself and when you can do this you don’t need to be afraid to continue your life. If you don’t come to this forgivness there will always be a weight on Your Being that will stop you from doing.

Make things right in your life, recognize what part you had in it, change what you can, ask for forgiveness when you can’t change it, and forgive yourself for being weak enough to have done it.Your life will be better for it and so will the lives of all around you.

Morning Glories

2008-09-05T23:06:00.000-07:00

Morning Glories

I was in my vegetable garden and I pulled up 375 Morning Glory seedlings. It made me think of the 6 or so other times I have weeded that bed and had the same results. I just plug along and pull them up, one by one, and soon the dormant little siblings of theses little two leafed heart-shaped green bits of fetal blue and purple flowers are popping up everywhere.

Well, it all started when my neighbor planted Morning Glory to cover the front of a large yellow 2-car garage. Boy! Did it look beautiful! The flowers came in large blue buds that twisted out to unfold a large blue flower that turned first purple then pink as it matured. Spectacular!

Several years later it was a full cover for above the garage doors, but long tendrils crept into my rose hedge and up over my plum tree as well as covering the fence between our yards and creeping into every little crack in the wall of the shed.

One day the neighbor behind me said “You probably need to do something about that Morning Glory. It is blooming INSIDE your shed! I turned and looked and sure enough the flowers were right there in the window.

So when my neighbor moved he pulled down his Morning Glory and left the garage bright and clean. We needed to have a gardener come and clean it off the fence and behind both garage and shed and then poisoned it so it would not come back. But still it popped up in the rose hedge. It had put down roots deep in the thicket where we could not reach. That was not too much of a problem because when the long tendrils snook out of their hiding place they quickly get snipped and that was that.

But the birds had some ideas about this plant too. My back fence, all the way across the yard, grew 3 pretty little Morning Glory seedlings last year. I let them grow because the blossoms are so beautiful and the plant covered the chain link fence so nicely, but I did not take them down in the fall nor did I clean up the seeds that dropped. Boy, was that a mistake!

Now I have a constant job of cleaning out these little cloven-hoofed shaped leaves that pop up all over my vegetable garden.

I think they are timed released. In April I pulled 175, In May I pulled 200 twice. (I am counting them just not to be so bored). Then in June there were 350, now in July, I got 375 all from the same place--all just seedlings. Those three Morning Glory plants I let go last year were very happy in my yard!

Well, I was just thinking. Discordant behaviors in your life are like the Morning Glory plant. Some are even beautiful because of the excitement or even pleasure they bring, but they have such a high cost. If indulged in they plant seeds of disharmony that are much more destructive than the discordant behaviors itself.

So weed your garden of behaviors every day or they may cover over your life with the blossoms of disharmony. You may have a Morning Glory patch too big for you to handle and all other thing you do in your life may be covered over!

Waiting for Water

2008-09-05T07:50:00.000-07:00

Waiting for Water

Water is the universal solvent. It dissolves almost everything given its own time. I was washing dishes today and picked up a spatula that someone had used a scrubbing pad on. It had a little mark where the food had been and even tiny scratches all around the food mark where someone had scrubbed to get the food off. I do not know when this was done, but I could clearly see the mark that the stuck-on food had left. It could have been days, weeks even years ago, but I saw it today.

I wonder if that person who so desperately wanted the food off that spatula knows that I know it was scrubbed. I wonder if he/she knows that their efforts can be seen so far into the future.

How many times have we done something in a rash moment of impatience that made its mark deep into the future?

Waiting for the water to soften the food so it could be wiped off easily with a soft cloth would have been the way to not let the stubborn food leave its mark on the spatula. Similarly if time is given its way all things that seem impossible are softened to be easily dealt with. But are we patent enough to wait for this? This person was not and the mark will be there for the life of the spatula.

I wonder if our impatience is like that.

2008-09-04T21:48:00.000-07:00

Tomatoes on the vine

15 pounds of tomatoes off one plant

Dried all into to these two little jars

Arn't they cute

2008-09-04T20:59:00.001-07:00

If you don't know what I think you will now.

Why I don’t listen to both sides anymore.

As a child I was taught to listen to both sides of an issue in order to get perspective. I have diligently done this all my life. The news media is forever getting two opposing sides to talk about issues. It has been a rule that there are always at least two sides to every situation. Honesty was always implied, both sides merely having legitimate differences of opinion or differing facts.

BUT…I have become aware that devious desperate people will propose fictitious arguments (LIE) to confuse and sway people to their side.

The tobacco company to keep their product on the market, the polluters to keep from paying for the damage to their neighbors and the environment, bosses to keep from paying the women in their employ an equal wage, the president to get us into a war, and the list goes on . . . . . . . . . . . . .

This week is the Republican convention. I have always watched both sides. I have been an independent voter, but as I watched the opening event, the choice for vice president, I heard my first bold face lie. That was enough for me.

The Democrats will raise taxes on Exxon’s windfall profits not on the middle class, and 6 years in a state legislature, 2 years in the Senate is more experience than years of running a small town or being governor of a large state full of caribou! The choice of a 42 year old woman who has domestic credibility and limited public service plus the old lie that the Democrats will raise taxes was the last straw.

When they said and I quote “America loves an underdog” I knew they were not seriously going to put out any facts but just play on sympathy. DON’T BELIEVE IT! Choose the party that gave us a surplus not the one who killed our children, and took our jobs and SPENT that surplus plus gave us the largest deficit ever. When will we wake up?

I will not be listening to the other side this time. Global warming is more important than protecting Exxon from playing us back the money they bleed from our economy. Having 2 people who have devoted their whole lives to public service and the presence of mind to have advisors that are smart not just on their side is enough!

The Republican Party is devious desperate people who are proposing fictitious arguments (LIE) to confuse and sway people to their side.

I don’t believe advertizing or the Republican Party or any of its representatives any longer so I will not listen even to counter their arguments. I won’t even be listening!

LIES are LIES.

THE REPUBLICAN PARTY IS LIEING!
DON’T LISTEN AMERICA!