Know it all’s are folks who always have an answer to what ever comes up. They feel compelled to share this answer with others.
Being a KIA myself I have spent countless hours gathering information. Countless years perfecting how I could use this information, and jump at the opportunity to share what I have learned. It is a “teachers”, “mentors” frame of mind.
I wondered when I was alone for 9 years why I had used my life this way. Why had I been so curious, observant, thoughtful, almost obsessed at gathering this information, compiling, verifying and clarifying all these interesting things that were not useful to anyone, even me, if there was no reason to use it?
Children, yes, but most of what I know is so complicated and specific to things that kids are not interested in. They just stare “HuH?” Even adults some times do that. Then I know I have overstepped my bounds and try to simplify but that is such a task I mostly don’t succeed
I could have chosen to just chuck it and focus on some menial task that means nothing, and I did for a long time. Nothing I did was received any better than my sharing what I learned, so I chose to try again to share what I had accumulated.
Books are only one persons attempt to do the same. Remember the blind men and the elephant, all different perspectives. Not all of us can be published or would we want to. There are some really smart folks right under your nose.
Anyway…. Would you rather interact with someone who had no thoughts about anything, is interested only in what they personally think at the moment and could care less if things got done well or not? Or, a person who had researched, compiled and thought how to share the things they are interested in, wants things to go in a good directions and is willing to think and do what is needed to get good results?
Your choice, of course, there are many individuals between the couch potato and the flaming fanatic. A CP is safe never expecting or wanting you to think but a KIA challenges you to engage. I am a reformed FF.
It is a beautiful thing when two KIA former FF get together and share. Wow! What can come of that? Space flight? New toys? A better world?
There are rules to a True KIA.
- Check to see if the person you want to share with knows it already
- Make sure you wait until it is obvious they want know before even considering sharing.
- Ask if the person wants you to share.
- Be gentle and careful to see if you have their attention or if they are just blowing you off.
- If it is a real problem that will harm or damage anything go ahead and share. “DON’T TOUCH THAT WIRE!” As respectfully as possible and don’t worry about reactions or results. Free will, you know.
- Respect the other persons pace. In other words if that person is slower or more deliberate than you are give them time to express or do what ever it is.
- Always, always check the information you are sharing. Never share if you are not absolutely sure your have correct information. Verify everything even if you can’t remember where just know that you have because you did.
- The last and most important thing is admit when you don’t know. We are all learning. It could be fun to learn something new.
Rules for dealing with a KIA
- Never assume they mean you harm
- If you already know something they would like to share SPEAK UP! “You know I have thought about that too.”
- Use clear and precise communication if you do not want the KIA to share. “Please, I need to work through this myself” “Yes, but I need to do this a way that suits me.” “Thanks for the information I will consider it, but for now I just need to think.” If that does not work go to #6.
- Engage in the conversation. Too many folks only use one way conversations (listen until the person is finished (some times feeling trapped in the barrage of unwanted information) , when it is your "turn" to talk and be annoyed if interrupted) Two way conversations with “Yes I understand, what about this?... I want to know about this part, …I know that from…” interjected into the conversation is a powerful way of letting the KIA know you are or are not interested, what you really want to know, and how you want to interact.
- Be patient because the KIA is after all a person who has taken a lot of time to gain the information they would like to share and may need to share.
- If you really can’t handle it and the KIA really needs to “Share” and you don’t want to listen, find a polite way of ending the conversation. A hand on the shoulder to get the KIA attention and “I need to go now.” Works really well.
- Know that KIA’s don’t know it all and they know it better than anyone else.
- Take care of yourself; learn all you can, check your facts and who knows you might become a KIA.
Human Life is more important now than ever. We all need to be engaged and ready at any moment to speak up. We could destroy the world if us KIAFF don’t.