Sunday, February 17, 2013

Deep Thoughts

Mind Sets

Because of mass media we have around us belief structures that float through our consciousness’ and pass like clouds in the sky all hoping to solidify in us and fix our minds in a form.

These create an action system. Each have, a form, a structure, a goal or way that would create the ability to choose the “right” path in life. 
Because all of us want to do our best from the first moment to the last we look for a way to evaluate ideas that will fit our lives and give us the parameters we will use to deal with much more information than our minds can process.

We search in this pool of mind sets, but this search is not an easy one. It takes commitment to each one to truly understand and therefore requires flexibility because many are not viable. The necessity to recognize and to change with this unsustainability of the current form and the work to discover a new paradigm that will be sustainable is the goal of any thinking person.

The unfortunate thing is in order to keep us within each mind set's grasp, each one is at odds with every others of like kind. The parameters within these limits the ability to change. The strongest is the hope of advancement with the abandonment hook if one does not follow the "right" path. Another is the unexamined prejudice against any other paradigm and the habitual responses inherent in staying within for a long time.

In the book named “Ishmael” the two mind sets are the Takers and the Leavers. Takers exploit no matter who or what gets damaged. The Leavers use what they need and leave the rest for others.

Ishmael” explores these two paradigms. It  discusses ways that the behavior of the Leavers looks like that of the Takers. This is important because many times the mind sets cross or overlap. If any sets are examined these crossing points are where real truth and stability reside.
I believe this is the goal of the book—to recognize and turn from the Taker life style and to turn to the Leaver life style in order to save the panet.


Deep Thoughts

Does your behavior affect anyone but your own self?

Recently, I had a difficult encounter with a woman whose child of 25 had just been arrested for being party to a gang killing of another youth. I had just met the young man, his baby and his wife the week before.  Good looking, courteous young man.  This mother was beside herself.  She could not stop crying.  A mother’s nightmare!  This young man had destroyed his life in a moment--Prison, even life in prison, is all he can look forward to now.  Did this moment of poor judgment affect only him? 

This is an extreme case, but the effect on his mother was not unlike many of us who have had hopes and dreams for our children. What a mother hopes for her child is that it lives a happy fulfilled and harmless life.

In a moment a girl/women becomes a caretaker of a new life.  A mother does not go through 9 months of difficulty, 18-20 years of sacrifice of self for another just to have it all thrown away with poor judgment or rebellion.  Or, she does not expect to!

It seems that giving life to another, raising it and loving it is not enough.  That child has a responsibility to his/her parents too!

Some misjudgments can work out OK but others ruin lives!  A lot is expected of a person who gives life to another-- but, what of the expectations of the child? 

This young man dashed the dreams of everyone around him with one stupid miss-judgment! 



Tuesday, July 31, 2012


 Know it all’s are folks who always have an answer to what ever comes up.  They feel compelled to share this answer with others.  

Being a KIA myself I have spent countless hours gathering information.  Countless years perfecting how I could use this information, and jump at the opportunity to share what I have learned.  It is a “teachers”, “mentors” frame of mind.  

I wondered when I was alone for 9 years why I had used my life this way.  Why had I been so curious, observant, thoughtful, almost obsessed at gathering this information, compiling, verifying and clarifying all these interesting things that were not useful to anyone, even me, if there was no reason to use it? 

Children, yes, but most of what I know is so complicated and specific to things that kids are not interested in.  They just stare “HuH?”  Even adults some times do that.  Then I know I have overstepped my bounds and try to simplify but that is such a task I mostly don’t succeed

I could have chosen to just chuck it and focus on some menial task that means nothing, and I did for a long time.  Nothing I did was received any better than my sharing what I learned, so I chose to try again to share what I had accumulated. 

Books are only one persons attempt to do the same.  Remember the blind men and the elephant, all different perspectives.  Not all of us can be published or would we want to.  There are some really smart folks right under your nose.  

Anyway….  Would you rather interact with someone who had no thoughts about anything, is interested only in what they personally think at the moment and could care less if things got done well or not?  Or, a person who had researched, compiled and thought how to share the things they are interested in, wants things to go in a good directions and is willing to think and do what is needed to get good results? 

Your choice, of course, there are many individuals between the couch potato and the flaming fanatic.  A CP is safe never expecting or wanting you to think but a KIA challenges you to engage.   I am a reformed FF. 

It is a beautiful thing when two KIA former FF get together and share.  Wow! What can come of that?  Space flight? New toys? A better world?

There are rules to a True KIA. 
  1. Check to see if the person you want to share with knows it already
  2. Make sure you wait until it is obvious they want know before even considering sharing.
  3. Ask if the person wants you to share.
  4.  Be gentle and careful to see if you have their attention or if they are just blowing you off.
  5. If it is a real problem that will harm or damage anything go ahead and share. “DON’T TOUCH THAT WIRE!”  As respectfully as possible and don’t worry about reactions or results.  Free will, you know.
  6. Respect the other persons pace.  In other words if that person is slower or more deliberate than you are give them time to express or do what ever it is.
  7. Always, always check the information you are sharing.  Never share if you are not absolutely sure your have correct information.  Verify everything even if you can’t remember where just know that you have because you did. 
  8. The last and most important thing is admit when you don’t know.  We are all learning.  It could be fun to learn something new.
Rules for dealing with a KIA
  1. Never assume they mean you harm
  2. If you already know something they would like to share SPEAK UP! “You know I have thought about that too.”
  3. Use clear and precise communication if you do not want the KIA to share.   “Please, I need to work through this myself”  “Yes, but I need to do this a way that suits me.”  “Thanks for the information I will consider it, but for now I just need to think.”  If that does not work go to #6.
  4. Engage in the conversation. Too many folks only use one way conversations (listen until the person is finished (some times feeling trapped in the barrage of unwanted information) , when it is your "turn" to talk and be annoyed if interrupted)  Two way conversations with “Yes I understand, what about this?... I want to know about this part, …I know that from…” interjected into the conversation is a powerful way of letting the KIA know you are or are not interested, what you really want to know, and how you want to interact.
  5. Be patient because the KIA is after all a person who has taken a lot of time to gain the information they would like to share and may need to share. 
  6.  If you really can’t handle it and the KIA really needs to “Share” and you don’t want to listen, find a polite way of ending the conversation.  A hand on the shoulder to get the KIA attention and “I need to go now.”  Works really well.
  7. Know that KIA’s don’t know it all and they know it better than anyone else.
  8. Take care of yourself; learn all you can, check your facts and who knows you might become a KIA.
Human Life is more important now than ever.  We all need to be engaged and ready at any moment to speak up.  We could destroy the world if us KIAFF don’t.

Friday, October 14, 2011

600 count sheets

Today I changed my sheets on my bed. This doesn’t seem like a big deal, but a few months ago I spent my discretionary money for new sheets. The 600 count ones that feel like silk. I sink into them like melted butter and fall fast asleep.

This would not be such a big deal if I expected to have such comfort. But since I have had my share of 200 count sheets, scratchy wool blankets or no mattress at all it is a real treat.

All my life I have been between poverty and the expectation of abundance. At times I have been so out of resources as to be sleeping in a tent on the side of the freeway. But, with always a since that there was something better I should have had.

I look back on the thunderstorm that drenched the tent forcing us out into the rain and the days wondering where I would be the next minute as a learning experience. Which, of course, it was, but did I need to learn to enjoy 600 count sheets by not having them? Maybe, I don’t know. But very often the lack didn’t let me enjoy the things I have at the time.

The since of expectation of abundance also made me envious of others that had more and ashamed of what I did have. This is a terrible predicament--half way in between and not happy with either.

But today I love my 600 count sheets, my garden that is makeshift chicken house of old fencing and used 2X4’s, and old wooden ladders painted bright orange, blue and purple and my house with the leaky roof, my dog that got fleas, my chickens that are not laying and that are sneezing, my trees that are dropping leaves all over the place and the beautiful pink fall flowers that are blooming in my bedroom doorway!

I barely can pay the price for this home, but while I have it I will enjoy the smell of the night blooming Jasmine, the sweet fragrance of the orange blossoms and the colors of the 40 roses that are scattered around my garden, the feel of the grass, and the smell of the rain. For today I will slip into my 600 count sheets and melt away to rest and dream of all the sweetness in my life right now, and let all the envy and contempt for not having, not doing, not living another life leave my soul.

I should have done this all along.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Berry Good Experience

Today I picked my first bowl of Marian Berries. I had been waiting for the day when the tiny green, then bigger pink, and then even bigger red berries would be a luscious black and today was the day.

I had been digging the trenches for another part of my watering system when I glanced up and saw the shiny bumps of the black berries sparkling in the morning sunlight. I went into the enclosure and picked one soft but firm fruit off the vine. And slowly put it onto my tongue. The berry was firm, smooth coldness in my mouth. The little balls of juice popped as I squished it with my tongue. The juice was first sour, then sweet, and then came the fragrance and flavor of flowers! What a treat!

I held out one hand and piled as many berries as I could hold, stopping to pick a few raspberries along the way. When I could not hold any more I carefully walked into the house, rinsed them off and put them in this bowl. I just happened to have some whipped cream I had bought in anticipation of the fruit harvest.

I love my garden!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Why I still watch Star Trek

Tear jerkers, cause proponents, emotional point makers, interferance with relationships, violent disrespectful relationships, violence, seduction, greed, avarice, covetousness, exploitation, murder, rape, fear mongering, you name it are all on TV 24/7.

It seems like no one has a good simple life with honorable friends and a good feeling about their life's work.

I don't like to be tearful for someone else's problems or joys. I have enough of both in my life. I don't like to be afraid, duped into thinking that my life is not good enough, or be exposed to murder, violence, sexual explicitness, etc...

Star Trek doesn't have these emotional effects on me. All the series were contemplative, realistic, and applicable to real life situations with the added effect of detachment. I don't mean that I live in space or want to. I would just like to think that there is a place for kindness, respect, honor and a since of duty to those around you. Is there?

I still watch Star Trek regularly and the movies too. Why? Because all the "Treks" have content I want to put in my mind and nothing much else does.

Today a 80 year old singer of old Celtic legends, Sean O'Duininn said:

"The only thing we have in this world is our way of thinking.
There is nothing stronger than our way of thinking."

What are "They" wanting you to be thinking by putting all that on TV?

Now, What do you have?

I have the Star Trek way of thinking. Thanks Roddenberry!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Behavioral Secrets

Definition: Confession is the telling of a secret behavior to another with the intention of wanting to change it.

Behavioral secrets stay with us
They run our lives
But confessed to another
Can be examined
And sometimes
Disappear in the light of the telling

"Confession is good for the Soul"

A few days ago I told a friend that I was having trouble keeping up with the dishes. I don't have a dishwasher and sometimes I just don't want to do them. It bothered me for months! Piling up until I just could not stand it. But since I told her I was having a problem with it, I have rinsed out the dishes and washed them as I use them.

Sometimes behavioral secrets disappear in the light of telling!