I have a friend who has taken years to get close to. She has been alone for years and finally had made a cognitive leap into her imagination to create a reality that is really different from any of the rest of us. She was unable to be touched. She took offence at the smallest things. She was combative. She was plain rude at times totally rejecting any sign that she was cared about. As I endured she began to soften.
It has taken years for her to expose her reality to me. As I validated her perspective, yet stayed separate from this construction, she became more and more friendly first finding ways to "take care of me" then just plain affectionate responses still not wanting to be touched however. One day a while ago she spontaneously hugged me. A surprise for sure, but a welcomed change in her.
Yesterday I saw her opening her perspective to a gift I made her. The look on her face of gratitude and genuine love was delightful and the best Christmas gift I could have gotten. Bless her heart--some hope has entered her world.
I have no intention of intruding on her, but because I endured her negative behavior, took her prospective seriously, accepted her ideas, trying to understand where she had developed the construct of her life and genuinely wanted to care about her anyway, She opened her heart to being loved. I am grateful that I did not give up.
It may seem at times, even to me, that who I am is a mistake, that what I think is so far out of step with what the world is doing now that I must be wrong, but yesterday I found out why I do what I do just by the look on her face.
Wow! Merry Christmas